


A Second of Totality

by ann2who



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Awkward Sexual Situations, Camping, Coming Out, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Oblivious Steve Rogers, Pining Tony Stark, Resolved Sexual Tension, Road Trips, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-11-13
Packaged: 2018-05-01 11:42:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5204525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ann2who/pseuds/ann2who
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>{TO•TAL•ITY | The moment when the light from the eclipsed sun is totally obscured}</p><p>Tony Stark is a lot of things: Sixteen. High school graduate. Child prodigy. Obsessed with solar eclipses. And also hopelessly in love with his ex-best friend Steve Rogers. At the end of high school, life sucks in a not very sexy way, and there’s only one thing Tony’s looking forward to: a road trip to witness the first solar eclipse on American mainland in four decades. Over a week of world-stopping kisses and holes in the sky, Tony finally gets a chance to tell Steve how he really feels. But can the one short week end in anything but goodbye?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Yay, here's my entry for Cap_Iron Big Bang 2015 :)
> 
> Art by: [ssyn3](http://ssyn3.tumblr.com/)  
> Beta reader: [morphia](http://archiveofourown.org/users/morphia/pseuds/morphia)  
> Prompt by: [maplerosekisses](http://maplerosekisses.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Road Trip Route: New York City via Gettysburg, Hagerstown, Nashville, Gatlinburg to Hopkinsville
> 
> Links to ssyn3's art: [1](http://ssyn3.deviantart.com/art/on-the-roof-571951197?ga_submit_new=10%253A1447428092) [2](http://ssyn3.deviantart.com/art/Hounted-House-Selfie-571950825?q=gallery%3Assyn3&qo=1) [3](http://ssyn3.deviantart.com/art/Sweetkiss-571950040?q=gallery%3Assyn3&qo=2)  
> Note: I've been informed that there's a small error with the timeline of the American school system in the first Chapter. I'm really sorry about that, I did lots of researching for this fic, but this must've slipped my attention. I don't really have the time to fix the error right now, and I do hope it's still an enjoyable read as it is.

_Dear Master Anthony,_

_I wish you a very blessed tenth birthday. Upon your latest interest in astrological phenomena, I decided to write you a little letter on how I witnessed my first TSE (Total Solar Eclipse)._

_As you may know by now, the year I came to the United States was also the year of a total eclipse. Forty years seems like a long time ago, but March 7, 1970 is so deeply etched in my mind, it seems but a moment ago._

_For me as then a 16-year old, it was about an 8-hour bus drive from New York City to Portsmouth, an overnight in a local inn, and then “setting up” at Virginia Beach. At dawn, a fog covered the sky so thick you cut it with a knife, but I was without worry (well, mostly without worry), as it burned off soon after sunrise as anticipated, leaving nothing but crystal-blue skies._

_I had been anticipating this event since 1962, Master Anthony, and in the intervening years, I had read everything I could get my hands on about it. I was well prepared, or so I thought—practicing over and over again months and weeks ahead of time how I would spend my 2 minutes and 33 seconds of totality splitting my time between telescope, binoculars, cameras and “naked eye” viewing. Every second was planned and accounted for. With equipment set up hours in advance._

_When the time came, and I saw the darkness rising up over the horizon, I pulled the solar filters off the cameras and telescope in a single and well practiced motion that took only seconds, then looked again skywards with binoculars ready around my neck._

_I was all set and ready to go, Master Anthony, but I was then numbed and overwhelmed as if a bolt of lightning had struck. I have to admit, I froze like the proverbial deer in the headlights. Nothing, I had read, or thought I had learned about “the event” prepared me for what was happening next. I just stood there limp, binoculars dangling around my neck, telescope unattended, cameras untouched, and just stared at the hole in the sky._

_I could not have said a word if I wanted to, but at that instant I didn’t want to. Time ceased to flow, but somehow, before I knew it… it was over. I don’t think I moved one millimeter or dropped my gaze at totality for even a second._

_And that (as you have often asked me as a little boy) is why I have no photos of my first TSE, 40 years ago. With no regrets, I might add. The mind did what it knew it had to do—surrender and absorb._

_Master Anthony, the next total solar eclipse on American mainland will occur on August 21, 2017. For the first time in nearly four decades, it will be the turn of the United States to play host to this greatest of all celestial shows, and with all my heart, I hope that you—then a 16-year old young man yourself—will still be just as vibrant and excited about this as the young lord I have come to love like a son._

_Below, you will find a few facts and tips, although I am sure that you, young Master, will be quite capable and willing to do further research yourself._

_May this moment be everything you want it to be. And may you be spending it with people you love._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Edwin Jarvis_

 

__________________________

_Appendix:_

_TSE Aug. 21, 2017: Start of partial eclipse: 16:52:44, Start of total eclipse: 18:20:29, End of total eclipse: 18:23:09, End of partial eclipse: 19:47:54, Duration of totality: 00:02:40_

_Point of Greatest Eclipse: Northwest of Hopkinsville, Kentucky (Lat.: 36.9664° N, Long.: 87.6709° W)_

_Weather: It’s very important to watch the weather forecasts a day or two before the eclipse and choose a location with the best chance of a cloud-free sky during the eclipse._

_Gear: Don’t fry your eyes, Master Anthony. Aluminized Mylar or No. 14 welder’s glass make good shades. However, the view through a properly equipped telescope will, as you Americans always put it, “blow your mind”._

_Shadow protocol: When people applaud and the temperature drops 10 degrees, stop taking pictures, for Heaven’s sake, and soak in the experience of being able to see something that is 90 million miles away._


	2. Day 1: New York – Gettysburg

**| T minus 29:22:06:39 |**

 

The first second of totality is a life-changing event that burns itself into memory—and never really fades.

At least, that’s what Jarvis had always told him. It’s a bedtime story Tony had often lulled himself to sleep to whenever his parents had been fighting downstairs. And it’s what Tony had passed on to Rhodey when they had met in elementary school. Rhodey was two years older than Tony, and yet, they’d been best friends the moment they’d built their first Lego fort together. Soon after, they had been promising to each other with their pinky-fingers crossed that when they were older—come heaven or hell—they’d watch one of those ‘magical eclipses’ together.

About four years later, Tony and Rhodey had found out that the _exact_ year they’d graduate from high school, there’d be a total eclipse on American mainland. It would be a 70-mile-wide totality path, stretching over the whole country, from Oregon to South Carolina. That day—and Tony remembered it in a way he didn’t remember much of anything when it came to his crappy childhood—, he and Rhodey had started forming ‘The Plan’; the plan for ‘The Most Legendary Solar Eclipse Post-Graduation Road Trip Of All Times’. Even at the age of ten, Tony had known that this would mark the end of his youth and the start of something new—something bigger. And he wanted to share this moment with his best friend more than he wanted to breathe.

By the time their graduation ceremony was only days away, every single detail was laid out perfectly. Howard had agreed to pay for the whole trip. As long as he didn’t need to spend time with his son, he was usually fine with throwing money at him. Hell, the guy hadn’t even asked where they were planning to go.

Anyway. Howard had rented them a pretty large RV (not the Winnebago Tony had initially planned for, but alas, minor changes to his plan were expected and calculated), they’d gathered all of the supplies (the usual camping-trip stuff, Tony’s new telescope and lots of food and beer), they had the money, and they’d had the perfect day-to-day route that would bring them to the small town of Hopkinsville (a.k.a. the 2017 eclipse’s point of ‘Greatest Duration’).

There they would be driving to the scarce viewing areas somewhere northwest from the town, making sure to get the best spot possible. And all the while, they’d talk about college, about their new dorm room at MIT, about the classes they’d have together, the people they’d meet and they’d wait for the magic to happen. For seven days, it would just be Rhodey and him, and it’d be perfect. Life-changing. Unforgettable.

Just like Jarvis had always told him it’d be.

That being said, Tony wasn’t all that thrilled that Rhodey (who was marginally more hormone-driven at the age of eighteen than he’d been in elementary) apparently wanted to bring his girlfriend and a few more people along.

“You said it’d be okay if I asked Carol to join us,” Rhodey pointed out, crossing his bulky arms over his chest. He was staring intently at Tony from his seat in the football stadium.

All around them, the people broke out into cheers as their school’s team set foot on the playfield for the big final game. Most were already chanting Steve’s name like he was the God of Sports himself.

Which, to be honest, he kind of was.

Steve Rogers was the school’s star quarterback. The school’s star-everything. And in about three weeks, Steve would be attending Stanford, and join the NCAA. He got the skills, the scholarship, and in a few years—everyone knew that—Steve would be in the NFL.

Tony’s jaw tightened as he watched Steve turning around while jogging towards the 50 yards line. He waved at the crowds, his expression as always a bit sheepish. Steve had a hard time dealing with the fame, he’d once told Tony. You could see it in the tensed line of his broad shoulders, and the way his eyes never quite made eye contact whenever he was the center of attention.

“Because Carol is secretly a nerd,” Tony replied after a moment. “Because she knows the significance of this trip. Because _Carol_ won’t be looking into the sky, saying ‘Golly gee, that’s real darn pretty’, okay?”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “Steve doesn’t talk like that and you know it.”

Tony crossed his arms sullenly. “He so does.”

_No, he didn’t._

“Tony, I… Look. I know that we’ve planned this for-fucking-ever. And I know how important it is to you, because it’s exactly that important to me, all right? But… bringing a few more people along won’t make it any less significant. In fact, I’m sure it’ll just make this an all-round more fun experience, with more minds to bear witness of the wonder that is the solar eclipse.”

Tony huffed at Rhodey’s choice of words.

Rhodey sighed, rubbing his forehead. “After you suggested for Car to come along, I thought it wasn’t a big deal to—”

“ _Suggested_?” Tony huffed. “You _begged_ me for weeks to take her with us. And by the way, you can’t fool me. You just want to sleep with her before she leaves for Colorado.”

Rhodey exhaled, then shrugged unapologetically. “That, too, yes, but that’s not the point—”

“It _is_ the point. It’s the _whole_ point to all of this and I can’t fucking believe you’re sacrificing our once-in-a-lifetime-trip for a chance to pop your cherry!”

Rhodey groaned, glancing around uncomfortably. Of course, no one was paying them any attention. Down on the playfield, their team had already scored the first touchdown and Tony rolled his eyes at Steve’s typical little happy dance. Infamous Captain Steve Rogers, Quarterback Extraordinaire, and the guy was easily the world’s biggest dork.

“It’s not just that. I want to make her happy, alright?” Rhodey said with a low voice. “This is gonna be it for us. In a few weeks, she’s gonna be in Colorado. We’ll have a whole country between us and I’m not deluding myself into thinking that she’ll do a long-distance relationship with me. So, yes, I wanna spend a bit more time with her. Sue me.”

Tony sighed heavily. Honestly, he still had trouble believing that Rhodey had somehow managed to score Carol Danvers. Rhodey was a nerd at heart, just like Tony. He didn’t look the part anymore (somewhere between 14 and 18, Rhodey had left his gangly Steve Urkel-self behind and actually started to muscle up, lose his glasses, and look for all the world like some younger Idris Elba. It was very disturbing.), but he was still every bit a science geek when it came down to it. How a girl like Carol, who wasn’t _only_ the prettiest girl in high school, cheerleader captain, prom queen, but also intelligent, a genuinely nice person and actually interested in science and not just faking it—how a girl like that had just one day decided to look at Rhodey and fall madly in love with him was beyond Tony.

Not that Rhodey wasn’t worth her love—he damn well was—but things like that didn’t happen, right? The popular kid falling for the nerd… it just didn’t happen.

It sure as hell hadn’t happened to Tony.

Rhodey sighed, waving a hand in front of Tony’s face. “Earth to Tony Stark.”

“ _Ten years_ ,” Tony whined. “We’ve been talking about this moment for over ten goddamn years! I mean, if it were just Carol, I might… I don’t know, I’d still not like it, but I’d understand. But Steve and the whole gang? _Why?_ ”

Rhodey took a deep breath, raised his hand, and rattled the list off his fingers, “You know that Car and Nat are practically inseparable. And Car told Nat, and Nat’s Bucky’s girlfriend, so of course he knows, and Bucky told Steve who told Sam—and now they’re all just, you know, really excited…”

Tony huffed. “Yeah, of course those freeloaders are excited. It’s an awesome idea—it’s _our_ awesome idea!”

“Look, Tony. They want to have a good time, just like we do. I mean, I know you like Nat, and Sam, and Steve. Or you used to, at least. Bucky—not so much, I get that, but… we all won’t be seeing much of each other as soon as freshman orientation begins, so I’d actually thought this was a good idea. We’ve been friends for a long time, and I kind of figured you would like to spend a bit more time with…”

Rhodey trailed off. His face was blank for a second, and then his eyebrows shot upwards. He squinted at Tony, as if trying to read his mind. “Hey, is this about your stupid quarrel with Steve?”

“My— _what?_ ” Tony asked with a distinctively high-pitched voice. “ _No_. It’s most definitely not about Steve!”

In the background, the crowds broke out in frantic cheering as Steve made yet another touchdown. Next to him a couple of girls were offering to have Steve’s many beautiful babies.

Sometimes Tony really hated his life.

Rhodey snorted, though Tony was not finding anything about this funny. “You never even told me what happened between the two of you. You guys were inseparable; you even helped him with his physics project all the time. And seriously, Tony, Steve’s one of the nicest guys in school, what could he have possibly done to make you so angry?”

Tony took a deep breath, exhaled it.

_Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it._

“It’s not about him. He’s just the tip of the huge-damn iceberg of all reason why this is a horrible, horrible idea that will ruin everything. We had a plan. A. Perfect. Plan.” Tony rubbed his forehead, before looking down on his hands. “What if they want to take detours? We don’t have the time for that.”

Rhodey shifted and produced the road map they’d been working on for the last month or so. “I already told everyone that they could only come along, Tones. And a few minor changes won’t ruin anything… I know that you’re upset but we really should look at the bigger picture.”

Tony raised both hands into the air. “Here’s me, looking at the bigger picture. I say: let’s take our awesome plan and do what we said we’d do. We drive to Hopkinsville, we bask in the magical awesomeness that is the solar eclipse, and then, you can come home, find Carol, and spend the next billion years in bed, for all I care.”

“Tony.” Rhodey rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I love you like a brother, which is why we’ll go to the same college, share the same room, have the same classes, and I look forward to that, I do. But I need to do things with other people, too. It can’t always be you and I, and I think it’d actually do you good to step out of your comfort zone for once. Apart from me you have about zero friends—”

Tony’s eyes grew wide and his mouth dropped open. “I have friends! There’s Pepper—and… and Bruce!”

“Pepper I grant you, but that’s not on you, buddy. You’re only friends with Pepper because she’s a saint and actually made an effort of looking past your bullshit. You _were_ friends with Steve in an admittedly creepy-close way, before you dumped him for whatever reason. Bruce on the other hand, is your random science-project-guy and nothing more. I bet you don’t even know his last name.”

Tony stuttered, frowned. He was almost sure it started with B. “Well, he likes to be alone most of the time… you really think I have no friends?”

“Last time I checked, you had eight contacts in your phone, and three of them are taxi companies.”

Tony bristled, staring down on his shoes. “Whatever, man, stop deflecting. I refuse to take Captain Quarterback on our road trip. I call veto. That’s the end of it.”

Rhodey groaned, throwing both arms in the air. “So, it _is_ about Steve.”

Tony looked sideways, squeezing his eyes shut and reciting Pi to one hundred decimal places of denial. “And what if it is?”

“Seriously, Tony. What. The. Hell. Happened? You guys were like bros-at-first-sight. For _months_ you raved about how great Steve is. ‘He’s so funny, Rhodes.’ ‘He’s so smart, Rhodes.’ ‘He’s so not-jock-material, Rhodes.’ And then it all just stopped? _What the fuck happened?_ ”

“He…” Tony started, swallowing. He didn’t like to lie to Rhodey, but then again, he couldn’t possibly tell him the truth.

Things with Steve were… complicated, at best. Tony had been secretly crushing on Steve for the better part of his high school years (which, okay, weren’t all that much—he was by far the youngest graduate—but that wasn’t the point). So for the last one and a half years, he’d allowed himself to simply bask in the World Wonder that he’d managed to get Steve’s attention, at all.

Okay, fine—he hadn’t _actually_ gotten Steve’s attention. Rhodey had managed to get Carol’s, which had led to Rhodey getting to know her friends, which had somehow led to Tony not being invisible anymore. But once Steve had noticed him it was like… the sun rising, like taking a really deep breath.Steve Rogers was a kaleidoscope, who’d turned Tony’s world to colors. It was…

…definitely not the time to be waxing poetry.

Anyway. They’d become friends. Best friends, really. Tony had helped Steve with physics, and Steve had helped Tony with his art class. For months, they spent hours playing video games, watching movies, or just talking well into the night.

Being friends with Steve, however, had led to Tony’s crush to develop into a full-blown-infatuation to the point of pain. Which had led to Tony messing things up so bad that he would never be able to look Steve in the eyes ever again. And every time Steve so much as glanced at Tony, he kind of expected him to break out laughing. Or insult Tony. Or sock him straight in the face.

Either would be fine, really, but so far, none of the above had happened. Steve was only giving him these looks. These long inquisitive looks, and it was slowly driving Tony insane.

He’d got rid of almost everything that reminded him of Steve. Made him negative space. Clearing away all the things that reminded Tony of what he lost.

It had been four thousand three hundred and eighty two hours since Tony had texted Steve in February that he didn’t want to see him ever again, that they weren’t friends anymore, that he had to stop calling so much.

“I just… I was wrong about him,” Tony said with a hopefully firm voice. “I don’t like him. He’s dumb, and arrogant and mean. I’m allowed to not like people.”

Rhodey’s expression remained unimpressed, and Tony felt his resolve dropping in the face of reality. “Oh fuck it, _fine_. If it’s that important to you… I’ll manage to have him around for a week, I guess.”

Rhodey’s face broke out into a wide happy smile and he pulled Tony into one of his giant bear-hugs that were secretly Tony’s favorite thing in the world.

“But it’s our trip, right?” Tony mumbled into Rhodey’s neck. “First and foremost?”

“Of course it is,” Rhodey agreed. And then—because the guy was secretly still a major nerd, he linked his own pinky finger around Tony’s and said, “This is our big moment.”

 

**| T minus 07:08:31:33 |**

 

“Eclipses!” Ms Jameson said as she scribbled an equation on the whiteboard. Even though this was Tony’s favorite subject, his physics teacher was way too energetic for 9 a.m. For a Monday. For practically any day after Tony’d been awake all night, which this year was basically always. _Totality_ , he wrote down. Then, for some inexplicable reason— _Steve_.

“The observation of a total eclipse helped Arthur Eddington to do the very first empirical test on—what?”

“Einstein’s general relativity,” said someone from the stool next to Tony. It was Bruce— _Banner_ —fuck you very much Rhodey.

“He was only experimenting,” Reed Richards mumbled from the other side of the classroom.

“Thank you, Bruce,” Ms Jameson said, wisely ignoring Richards. “Eddington confirmed MC squared, where C is the speed of light in a vacuum. Also known as the theory of general relativity, that’s correct. And the first to propose an expedition to an upcoming total solar eclipse was…?”

_Frank Dyson_ , Tony thought, but instead of raising his hand, he used it to stifle a yawn. Next to him, Bruce retreated into his hoodie, pulling up his headphones underneath it. The beat leaked out, tinnily. Seemed he was bored, too, which didn’t exactly come as a surprise, since Bruce probably had the same genius IQ as Tony.

Tony took a low breath and clicked the button on the side of his watch. The screen turned a bright blue—9:16 am. He clicked the button again and the display changed to a countdown: 07:08:29:06, 07:08:29:05, 07:08:29:04…

Tony watched all those seconds fall away—and disappear forever.

The past three weeks had sucked beyond the telling of it. It was amazing how quickly his excitement about the road trip had crumbled without preliminaries. For weeks, he had been ecstatic, lost in his happiness of finally witnessing this magical, monumental thing Jarvis had always— _always_ —told him was the experience of a lifetime.

The last week stood in stark contrast to that, though, and the atmosphere was about as fizzy as carbon dioxide. This was the last day of term, after all. Half the teachers had taken their classes outside. Not the geek squad, though: they were trapped in the basement.

It was slow. The teachers were simply not interested in quelling their boredom anymore. Which was fine except for times like now. With the upcoming road trip hanging above Tony’s head like a guillotine, he could use an excuse to get distracted without the added bonus of consequences.

In the big break, Tony had watched Steve and the others talking, _planning_. Just yesterday, James Fucking Barnes had been inspecting a roadmap of Kentucky and Tony hated it. Steve had even tried to approach him again after weeks of radio silence. He’d cast Tony all these flimsy smiles and raised eyebrows, as if this suddenly _changed_ anything.

It really didn’t.

Tony’s stomach was in knots in merely considering what going on a trip with Steve could mean for him. What if Steve told the others? What if he’d only waited for the cruelest moment?

There was some universal law about popular people like Steve making the lives of non-popular people like Tony hell. And he couldn’t even blame Steve. At the end of the day, this was all Tony’s fault. He’d fucked up their friendship by putting Steve in an awkward position.

And the fact that Steve apparently hadn’t told anyone so far didn’t change that being around him would be flat out horrible. It was the apocalypse. The Four Horsemen. A shower of frogs. Burning lakes of fire. It was—

The bell rang, too early.

At first, Tony thought his mind had just tricked him, but then he saw that everyone around him was already packing their things. The whiteboard was covered in equations and a big scribble of ‘HAPPY ECLIPSE EVERYONE’, and the clock said midday.

Ms Jameson was now striding around up front, wishing all of them a great time at college, and a ‘wonderful rest of their lives’.

Tony could practically hear the exclamation marks as she talked. That they were all expected to be excited about it. And everybody else seemed to be. All of his classmates were happy to escape high school, and embrace the wonder that was university-life.

Tony however, didn’t want to ‘Live The Future’, as Mr Jameson kept proselytizing. It was hard enough just living in this present.

His head hurt thinking about it. Despite wishing, no thunder storm had torn a huge abyss between the other’s homes and Stark Mansion where the RV was currently parked. The day was as bright as a magnesium flame. Which meant the road trip could take place just as they’d planned.

Rhodey already waited for him at the classroom’s door. They didn’t speak as they walked side by side through the corridors, and out into the car park. The silence that rode between them all the way home was so heavy, it deserved its own bus ticket.

 

**| T minus 05:09:01:14 |**

 

To say Steve had been surprised when Carol had asked him to join Rhodes and Tony on the infamous eclipse-road trip would be the understatement of the century. Sure, he was aware that he, Sam, Buck and Natasha were probably just an occupational hazard and Rhodes had really only wanted his girlfriend to come along. Still. After _months_ of trying to talk to Tony and failing monumentally, Steve was going to take whatever tiny chance he got.

He had all but accepted the fact that he might never talk to his best friend again. And now this. A road trip. In a RV. A ridiculously large and luxurious RV, sure (this was the Stark family, after all), but a RV nevertheless. He and Tony would spend every waking hour together, cook together, visit cities together, hell, they would probably sleep in the same room.

There was almost no chance—not even for Tony, which was saying something—that they could avoid each other all the time. And maybe, _maybe_ , they would finally talk about what had happened.

Maybe Steve could finally apologize for reacting the way he had.

It was noon, and everyone but Bucky and Steve had already assembled in front of Stark Mansion.

Steve’s heart was already beating ten times faster, infinitely excited about finally seeing Tony again. And when he did, Steve had to pause and just look at him for a moment. Of course, Steve had seen Tony at school, but never longer than a few seconds, so Steve ran rapid updates on his mental file: Tony sported shaded sunglasses Steve hadn’t seen before, skinny jeans and brown sneakers. His dark hair was shower-wet, and he was wearing a cardigan buttoned over an obscure-organic-coffee-brand T-shirt. He looked so… _clean_. Steve ran his tongue surreptitiously round his dry mouth.

As soon as they approached the large RV, they overheard a heated debate about driving arrangements between Rhodes, Tony and his father, which apparently resulted in Howard yelling ‘how his credit card had paid for the fucking Winnebago, and this trip was a complete waste of time anyway and everyone was going to do as he fucking said or else’. He ordered for Rhodes to drive, because in his opinion, he was the only one with ‘hair on his chest’. Then he had knocked back his whiskey, mumbled something incoherent to Tony and walked back into the house.

From what Steve knew of Howard Stark, he really hadn’t anticipated anything different from the man. Steve tried to cast Tony a sympathetic glance when he and Rhodes became aware of their arrival, but Tony’s expression only turned into the usual mix of embarrassment and anger, and he dropped his shoulders and walked inside the RV as fast as he could.

That was… wonderful.

Rhodes cast Steve and apologetic look and helped him with hauling all of their backpacks and other belongings onto the second floor of the RV while the others had already settled into their seats. The RV itself was exactly the grandiose vehicle that Steve had envisioned from going on a road trip sponsored by Howard Stark. It was pompous, all red-and-gold interior, and only contained state of the art tech, LED TVs, leather seats and porcelain floor tiles. There were porches to don both entrances; a whole dining room next to the kitchen, a den connected to the first bedroom, which was similarly connected to the hallway. And there was a full-out bathroom and another bedroom tucked in the back.

When Steve and the others walked inside, Tony had already assumed a seat in the far back, his back halfway turned to them, leaving them to the larger sofa in the middle. He didn’t even look up when they entered, only rigidly staring down at his tablet with an intense focus that was probably faked.

“Cheerio, nerd-king,” Bucky called.

“Barnes,” Tony acknowledged with a curt nod. His eyes didn’t leave the tablet.

“Hey, Tony,” Steve said quietly.

Tony’s jawline twitched. “Rogers,” he said and popped some red and yellow on-ears on his head, effectively killing every try at conversation.

Steve sighed, but accepted the brush-off—for now. The entire situation was bound to be awkward for both of them; he just needed to figure out how to handle it. He knew Tony was embarrassed, knew that he was hurt.

These days, whenever Tony crossed paths with Steve, his posture was always stiff and uncomfortable. Steve had tried to talk to him, several times, but Tony blocked every feeble attempt. He’d put Steve on various online black lists, had deleted his contacts, and Steve was almost sure all of his emails and messages were automatically spam-filtered.

And Steve missed him. He missed him so much. They had become friends so fast and Tony was… such a great guy. He was the most intelligent person Steve had ever met, and he got so _passionate_ about everything he did. He’d spent hours upon hours with helping Steve with his physics test, even though he must’ve been bored to tears by the subject, and they’d been talking, always talking, and somewhere along the way, Tony had easily become one of the most important persons in Steve’s life.

Well, that was until Steve had walked into Tony’s room without knocking, and caught him with his pants down, masturbating while focusing on Steve’s graduation photo.

Tony had been all-out staring at Steve for like ten seconds, too shocked to even cover himself. And Steve… After unsuccessfully trying to understand what was going on here, he’d burst out an incredulous ‘What the fuck are you doing?’, which… yeah. He hadn’t meant for it to sound so harsh, really, he’d just been caught off-guard. He hadn’t known Tony swung that way—at all. Tony had never _said_ anything. On the contrary, he was going on dates with girls, he was talking about them, ogling them, and just—there had been never any doubt in Steve’s head that Tony was straight and… he’d been surprised, that was all.

Tony being Tony, however, had of course clung to the worst possible thought entering his genius mind—namely that Steve was disgusted with him or something equally absurd—and yelled at Steve to leave his house, and his life, and never return.

And that was it. One of the best friendships of Steve’s life had been trampled to the ground, because he hadn’t managed a decent reaction, and Tony had never spoken to him ever again.

And now? He would just need to convince Tony that he didn’t care whether or not Tony was gay. That he would never just out a guy like that against his will. Tony was still very much in the closet; that much Steve knew for certain—as far as he could tell, not even Rhodes knew. And above that, Steve needed to let Tony know that he was his friend, no matter what had happened.

“You’re doing it again,” Natasha said from her place across from Steve. Everyone else was in the front of the RV, and Tony was still listening to some terribly loud music.

Steve frowned. “It?”

“Zoning out,” she replied and smiled knowingly. “Tony will come around, Steve. You just need to use this opportunity wisely.”

Steve nodded. Natasha was right, of course. In two weeks, freshman orientation would begin and that meant that, if Steve wanted to get his friend back, he needed to make every second count.

 

**| T minus 05:06:15:19 |**

 

Steve hadn’t exactly expected to be welcomed with open arms. He had known that being around Tony would be a mild steppingstone, at best. But it still came as a surprise as to how many things could actually go wrong in a single day.

After only two hours on the road, Bucky and Tony were engaged in a screaming match over the virtues in traditional Rock ‘n’ Roll compared to the drivel that popular music stations featured. At the rest stops, Tony would pointedly avoid all of them except maybe Rhodes and Carol, as though tainted by enjoying their company. And when Steve had asked if they could maybe stop at the ‘Tomb of the Unknown Revolutionary War Soldier’, Tony’s expression had gone deathly stoic.

“No detours.”

Next to Steve, Bucky rolled his eyes. “You think you’re going to decide for all of us? If I’m being carted halfway across the country against my will, this will better be a democratic decision making.”

“For the record, I didn’t want you to come,” Tony replied.

Bucky snorted. “Now, there’s the surprise of the century, rich boy. Pull the other one.”

“Buck,” Steve said with a harsh voice, earning six wary glances. He was so tired of Bucky and Tony fighting all the time. He cleared his throat and turned his gaze back to Tony. “We’re grateful that we could come along. Bucky just doesn’t know how to show his gratitude.”

“I don’t need _anyone’s_ gratitude,” Tony shot back coldly, then shook his head. “You know what, never mind… Rhodey, let’s drive to that monument thing. I need fresh air, anyway.”

Steve shook his head and frowned. “I… we don’t need to stop there. I just… I’ve never seen it before and I had always planned to go there sometimes. That doesn’t have to be now, it’s fine.”

There was a long pause. Eventually, Tony took a long breath. “I said we’re going,” he ground out. “Rhodey?”

Rhodes nodded quietly and took the next exit.

They didn’t spend a lot of time in the Washington Square Park area. While Steve was awed by all those remarkable events that had taken place here—the George Washington monument, the eternal flame in front of the huge grave for all those nameless soldiers, and the park itself—but it was also unbearably hot outside and after half an hour, they were back in the RV.

They drove for another twenty minutes, until they came across a huge road sign that read ‘Roadside America’.

“But that’s for _children_ ,” Tony exhaled. “Or people who’re crazy about tacky Roadside Kitsch like pink elephants or something. It’s stupid, and a waste of our time and gas.”

“Come on, Tony,” Carol supplied while putting her head on Tony’s shoulder, pouting at him with big eyes. “My mom and I drove by that place like hundreds of times. I always wanted to know what the heck this even is.”

“It’s a miniature America,” Tony explained with his typical whiny-voice that had Steve smiling a little every time. “It’s America of the 1950’s, in all of its quaint, starry-eyed, God-flag-mom-and-apple-pie glory.” He cast Steve a short look before instantly looking back out of the windshield. “Come to think of it, Rogers will probably like it.”

“Hey,” Steve replied without any heat. This was the most direct-approach of Tony speaking to him he’d gotten in weeks. So he’d just take it. “And I’ve been there before,” he went on, pointedly ignoring Tony’s snort. “When I was five or so. My ma dragged me there because I was all over locomotives and railroads. It’s fun.” He smiled when Tony looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. “What? There are little towns. And little circuses. And an airport. And churches. And anyway, there are buttons to push that make things light up and move. What five-year-old wouldn’t like that?”

Tony sighed. “Oh God, fine,” he said, and with a wave of his hand, Rhodes rolled his eyes and took the next exit.

When they pulled into the empty and remarkably oversized parking lot, there was a distinct roadside horror movie cliché popping up in Steve’s head, which was only solidified by the “Road Side America” sign. Its paint was all but faded and a few letters were missing.

“If we will be horribly murdered in a few seconds, I’m gonna blame this on you,” Tony muttered, as Natasha took Tony’s hand and dragged him towards the entry.

The place was exactly how Steve remembered it from his childhood. There was the overpriced gift shop littered with thousands upon thousands outdated products. Before entering the first hall, an old man took their entry fees and gave them a pamphlet guide.

They all walked through the big doors and were instantly overwhelmed with the smell of mildew and something that could only be described as ‘grandmother’s attic’. Steve had always loved the time capsule aspect of the whole thing—the place was built to recall earlier times, and stayed frozen in the era of its birth ever since.

Every half hour they did a light show. The actual lights were turned off and the village lights up and then they played horrible outdated “God Bless America music” through 1980’s speakers. It was hilarious.

Steve followed the other with mirth as they pushed each and every button available, bickering over which attraction was the worst. For the first half hour or so, Tony had adamantly tried to keep up his I-don’t-want-to-be-here-with-you-attitude until he finally cracked. With every half-cooked comment Bucky was throwing out about locomotives, Tony’s expression had darkened further. Eventually, it seemed he couldn’t take it anymore. He donned his on-ears (obviously, there hadn’t been any music playing, anyway) and took the lead, blabbering on and on about rail transport systems, heating, boilers and steam circuits and the general origins of steam locomotives.

It was all kinds of wonderful. He even beamed at Steve once, before apparently realizing what he was doing, and schooling his expression.

Steve counted it as a win.

After that—thankfully—the ice seemed to have broken just a little. Tony didn’t sport that haunted look anymore whenever they would ask to stop anywhere. Together, they visited ‘Hershey’s Chocolate World’ (beginning with the tour of the Chocolate Factory—which turned out to be something like a small Disney World tour) and stopped to see America’s largest avocado.

Eventually, they arrived at the first camping sight, and everyone seemed to realize how tired they truly were. Which led to yet another argument about sleeping arrangements.

“Okay,” Bucky said slowly, caressing his temples. “Lemme get this straight. We have how many beds?”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Six—and a two-man tent. We’ve already discussed this at least twice. Were you napping?”

Bucky shrugged unapologetically. “Let’s not rule that possibility out.”

Rhodes sighed, pointing to the bunk beds above. “There’s a queen sized bed in the back, the sofas here can become a single bed each, and there’s a double bed in the bunk upstairs.”

“I can take the tent,” Steve offered immediately. “It’s fine.”

Tony shook his head, standing up. “I’m taking the tent,” he announced. “It’s too crowded here either way. Split the beds however you want.”

Rhodes moved first. “Tones, come one, we’ve discussed this. This is your RV…”

“I’m sleeping upstairs with Tasha,” Bucky announced.

Natasha rolled her eyes. Sam snickered.

Carol huffed. “Who here didn’t see that coming?” She turned to Rhodes and shrugged with a smile. “Guess that leaves us to the king bed.”

Rhodey tried not to let a huge grin split his face and failed. “Sure.”

In a moment of stilled hilarity, the entire table sent a brief glance in Steve’s direction.

“I’m taking the tent. Tony and Sam can share the sofa,” Steve called, voice raising octaves to be heard over the squabbling that broke out. He caught Tony’s gaze. “This is your trip. Let me take the tent.”

Tony shook his head heatedly. “I don’t need to be coddled, Steve. Got it?”

“Respectfully, _Tony_ , I’m just trying to do you a favor.”

“I don’t need anything from you!” Tony snapped and brushed past him with reddened cheeks. At that, there was nothing else to say. No objections to voice—nothing but a dry understanding. Over Carol’s head, Rhodes pursed his lips and sent Steve an apologetic look.

Steve dropped his gaze to the ground. He knew Tony had planned this trip for years, knew exactly how important it was to Tony. Steve had only Edwin Jarvis a couple of times—the butler had died at the beginning of the year just before Tony had cut him out—but he knew he’d been more a father to Tony than Howard ever was. And he’d seen ‘The Plan’. Tony had this vision; where they would be staying, and what needed to be done in order to be at their destination by the time the eclipse took place.

Steve’s throat tightened. He really shouldn’t be here. But now it was too late for that.

Tony grabbed something that looked like the sleeping bag and went to the exit. “Night, everyone.”

Steve expelled a deep breath, doing his best to ignore the way his heart clenched at Tony’s discomfort. Which wasn’t much. So he stood up and made to follow.

“Steve,” Rhodes warned quietly, a look of concern on his face. “It might be better to leave him alone right now.”

Steve nodded in agreement. “Will do. Just wanna see if he needs any help with the set-up.”

When he got outside, Tony was rummaging through the luggage compartment at the long side of the RV. The tent was already lying on the grass, and Tony flipped on the lights before throwing some poles and linens on top of it.

“I really wouldn’t mind sleeping outside,” Steve offered quietly, coming to a stand next to Tony. He knew he was standing on shaky ground, but he couldn’t just let Tony do this all on his own without even trying to help. “You know my ma and I were camping all the time…”

“What?” Tony snapped, his brown eyes blazing with anger as he turned around to face Steve. “And because I’m rich you think I’ve never slept in a fucking tent?”

Steve’s eyes fell on Tony with guarded apology, but he offered nothing more than a shrewd shrug in consolation. To be honest, that was exactly what he was thinking.

Tony’s mouth drew into a tight line, confirming Steve’s suspicions. “I can manage, just go back inside.”

“But the sofa is a lot more comfortable and—”

“Don’t you think Sam would prefer you as a bunk partner? I could get handsy, you know,” Tony snapped with a vicious undertone.

It took a moment for Steve to work through the innuendo. When he did, though, his eyes went wide. “You really believe I would think something like that?”

Tony all but shook with anger. “Well, how can you be sure I wouldn’t make any untoward advances to him? I’m doing it all the time.”

“I would never think something that,” Steve snapped and masked his hurt behind steely eyes. “Don’t put words into my mouth, I’m not a homophobe. But, you know, I’m beginning to think you are.”

A heavy, awkward beat passed between them.

Tony’s cheeks reddened as he turned around, as if he couldn’t stand Steve’s stare one second longer. “Funny.”

Steve sighed heavily and shook his head. “At least let us switch places each night, okay? It can get cold, even in summer. I really don’t care about where I’m sleeping, and… I don’t want to ruin this trip for you.”

Tony exhaled a humorless laugh. “Well, it’s too late for that.”

“Tony, if you didn’t want us to come you should’ve—”

“It was Rhodey’s idea!” Tony whirled around, pointing a finger at him. “And I need him to be there with me for this, so there wasn’t a choice, alright? Now leave and let me set-up the goddamn tent.”

Steve walked up closer to Tony. “Why are you so angry at me? I didn’t—I could’ve reacted better, I know that, and I’m sorry, okay? You surprised me and—”

“ _You_ walked in on _me_!” Tony hissed. “This was my room, and my privacy and you had no right—” He clenched both hands to fists and took a deep, trembling breath to calm himself. “You know, just… stop it. I don’t want to fucking talk about it.”

With that, Tony leaned down and grabbed for the tent’s manual.

Steve sighed quietly, and squared his shoulders. “Have you ever even built a tent?”

“I’m a genius,” Tony muttered. “Doesn’t matter if I’ve done it before, I’m capable of building a stupid tent.”

“Theoretically, yes. But it’s easier to do it together. And it’s already dark.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Steve, you’re not my mom. I can do it, okay?” And with that, he set to work.

Steve rolled his eyes and leaned against the RV, watching him. For a few minutes, it really looked like it might work, but Tony had a hard time assembling the poles on his own, and eventually, the whole frame fell back down to the ground.

Tony sighed and sat down on the warm grass. “This whole trip is a train-wreck,” he said quietly.

Steve gave a mild huff, sitting down next to Tony and casting him a cautious smile. “It’s just a tent. Come on, let me help you.”

“I don’t need—”

Steve groaned and simply leaned down to grab the two main poles. “I’m here. And I’ll help you. Better start dealing with both.”

At first, Steve thought he’d said something wrong. While they built the tent together, Tony kept looking at him strangely. He’d tilted his head, and the soft burn in his eyes sparked unfamiliar flames Steve didn’t know his body possessed. He guessed it must be the proximity. He hadn’t been close to Tony in what felt like ages.

Steve swallowed as they lifted the last pole together. He looked sideways and stared right at Tony’s face. “Look, about what happened…” he began carefully. “I just want you to know that I don’t—”

Suddenly, Tony moved forward. The canvas cover in his hands sailed to the ground, and before Steve could even think to question what was happening, his cheeks were cupped in Tony’s palms and he was being kissed.

Steve closed his eyes as the universe contracted and expanded.

He was being kissed. By Tony.

A guy was kissing him. _Tony_ was kissing him.

Steve’s mind blanked out completely. He was floating away. He didn’t—Well, Tony tasted exactly how Steve had known he would. Not that Steve had imagined Tony’s taste, but it was Tony, and he always smelled like warm metal, and mint and coffee and… this was exactly how he tasted like, too. And he kissed Steve with mild desperation and slightly too harsh movements that didn’t give Steve any room for thought.

Then, abruptly, he pulled back, and stared at Steve with furious eyes. “That’s what happened,” Tony said with a clipped voice. “That’s what’s still happening. Now leave me the hell alone.”

Steve knew he must look like the dumbest person on earth. How was he supposed to react to that? And Tony _always_ did this—instead of approaching something at a reasonable pace, he dumped all of this on Steve’s shoulders and expected him to deal with it.

“Fine, be that way,” Steve snapped as he scrambled off the ground. God his lips felt completely numb. He stalked towards the RV’s front door, and only turned around when he was already half way inside. “But tomorrow, I’m gonna take the tent. And if the others have to hold you down and lock you up, so be it.”

No one said a word when Steve stormed angrily into the RV and simply dropped down on his part of the sofa, clothes and shoes and all.

Soon enough, they slept. And if Steve glanced through the window every minute or so, watching Tony’s silhouette moving inside the illuminated tent, while still tasting him on his lips, well… no one had to know.


	3. Day 2: Gettysburg – Roanoke

**| T minus 04:06:26:34 |**

 

_And… Checkmate_.

It was late noon the other day, and Tony had been playing chess against his own super-computer for almost five hours. The day had passed slowly, ticking away with a monotone of growing agony. Carol and Sam had voted for doing some Gettysburg tourism, visiting the military park, the Eisenhower historic site, doing an auto tour—the whole nine yards. Rhodey and Steve, being the military fanatics they were, had immediately agreed, and Natasha and Bucky had eventually joined them.

So everyone was up and about. Everyone but Tony.

The others had tried to convince him to join them at first, but had eventually given up and walked into the city on their own.

New round of chess. Tony won. Again.

How the hell had he thought he could ever make it through this road trip with Steve by his side? If being near Steve had been torturous before, it was now pure agony.

It was already late noon when the others finally returned to the camping grounds. And when they left town, Steve took up position as driver, and even though Tony was handling the map, there weren’t a lot of words exchanged between them. Just the usual ‘can you pass me the water’, ‘next turn?’, ‘no keep going’ and so forth. They didn’t talk more than that, though every few seconds Tony felt the slow sizzle of Steve’s eyes as he alternated from staring at him to staring at the road ahead.

The silence between them would strangle a lesser man.

On the way, they ate fish and chips at some roadside booth, straight from the paper. And while the others were giving them strange looks, Tony was doing his best not to look at Steve at all. If anything, the closed confines of the RV only worsened the brewing sickness in his stomach. But he’d survive. He would. It was a matter of preserving what little pride he’d managed to not toss in the gutter.

“I’m the world’s biggest moron,” Tony muttered irritably. He was currently in the bathroom of a rest stop about 50 miles from Roanoke, staring at his reflection in the mirror. “Kiss the guy to distract him from talking about you being attracted to guys. Why, yes, that does seem to be the most reasonable option.”

God, Steve had tasted so good. Like apple chewing gum, and soda, and heat and slickness and _Steve_. His mouth hadn’t moved much, by any means, but the way he’d touched Tony—the way his lips had molded against Tony’s—it had been so much more than Tony ever had experienced from a mere kiss.

Perhaps it was the thrill of the forbidden. Kissing a straight guy and all. Perhaps it was knowing exactly how wrong it was.

It had been a while since Tony had even thought about sex. After the disastrous popping of his cherry with Ty last year, Tony had all but decided he might like guys, but he didn’t like guy-sex. Ty had used about no time at all for prep, only using about two minutes on stretching him and only a minimal amount of lube, and Tony, being the idiot he was, hadn’t asked him for further ministrations. He’d done some readings on the matter and knew it could hurt at first, he’d just not imagined it to hurt this much. He hadn’t been able to walk without a hitch for days, and while the thing with Ty hadn’t lasted, Tony had decided that blowjobs he could do, frotting—perfect, but there wouldn’t be a dick in his ass ever again.

To try again had been a vague abstract. The thought of anyone else. But, for all the world, Tony couldn’t even summon Ty’s face anymore due to the way his lips tingled still with the echoes of Steve’s kiss. Steve, who clearly wasn’t even into guys, even though he’d kissed back.

He _had_ kissed back, right? Tony tried to remember things that weren’t Steve’s taste and the smoothness of his lips or the way his heart had practically hammered against his chest.

He was going out of his mind.

Of course Steve hadn’t kissed back. The way his hands had grabbed Tony’s forearms had been due to shock, or a try to shove Tony away, and nothing more.

Sleep hadn’t cleared Tony’s muddled thoughts. Wrapping his mind around Steve and this goddamn kiss seemed impossible. Seemed something more like a distant, bizarre dream than anything that could have truly transpired. How it was that Tony found himself here in this situation … and yet, it had happened.

Tony frowned and shook the thought off with little success.

“Folly, thy name is Tony.”

At least, aside the idiocy that had been throwing himself at Captain Perfect-Lips, the trip was fun so far. It might not go completely according to his plan, but they were having a good time. Even the stupid roadside attractions were kind of growing on Tony. After leaving Gettysburg, they’d been to the ‘Greatest Pancake Place Ever’, had taken a detour to Woodrow Wilson’s library (Thanks to Steve’s and Sam’s nagging), and Rhodey and him had taken the most epic selfie of all times in front of a giant robot statue in Buena Vista.

Still, the sooner they’d arrive in Hopkinsville, the better. They could all do what they wanted for the rest of the trip, and Tony could place some much-needed space between him and Steve and get the tantalizingly delicious image of them writhing together on some bed out of his mind.

God, he really needed to stop thinking about this, else he’d start to get horny all the time; and the RV offered little privacy. Thus, instead of dwelling on the texture of Steve’s lips, Tony finished up and washed his hands. Outside of the restroom, Tony immediately spotted Steve and Bucky walking towards the snacks aisle inside the shop. He whirled around, turning his back to them, and plucked a random tourism pamphlet off the back wall, holding it in front of his head.

Of course, that didn’t help all that much.

“ _We are dying to meet you…_ ” Steve read aloud as he glanced at the flyer over Tony’s shoulder. And sure enough, there was a burning skull on the front pages, and several grave stones underneath.

“Uh,” Tony said unintelligibly. What the hell had he grabbed there? In the corner of his eye, he saw Barnes pointing his tongue at him like the five-year-old he was, before he got distracted by a Frito-Lay display stand at the end of the aisle.

“ _Major Graham Mansion_ ,” Steve said as he pointed his finger on the address on the pamphlet, “Hey, that’s a haunted house!”

“Haunted?” Tony repeated, brows hitting his hairline. “Like… ghosts?”

“Yeah, you know, like on ‘America’s Most Haunted Places’?”

“I thought that was just a television thing,” Tony said, making Steve chuckle.

“No, they’re everywhere—all over the country. I always wanted to go to one, but never really had the chance…” He trailed off, skimming the rest of the pamphlet. He was also almost fully pressed to Tony’s back from head to toe, which yeah…

“Look,” Steve said enthusiastically, “the late ghost tour starts from the visitor center. And that looks a lot better than all of those crazy Halloween tours, anyways. Do we have the time for that?”

If Tony would look sideways, he was sure Steve was looking at him like some cute Golden Retriever pub. Life was so unfair.

“Uh, yeah. Sure,” he muttered.

Steve shifted his weight from one foot to the other, as he regarded Tony. He leaned in a bit more, his mouth now close to Tony’s ear. “Just checking: We’re not talking about yesterday, are we?”

Tony snorted, despite himself. “No. We’re most definitely not.”

“Fine,” Steve said, completely cheery, while he grinned at Tony. He pushed past him and grabbed a bag of Doritos off of the display. “Dinner’s ready in a few minutes. Be right back.” And without another word, he disappeared around the corner, leaving Tony alone.

Tony exhaled a long breath, then made his way to the RV, mumbling, “I’m so fucked.”

 

**| T minus 03:22:10:46 |**

 

Tony peered out of the windshield as the RV rolled towards the parking lot right in front of the mansion’s entrance. It was already dark outside, and the sun had just set. The Graham mansion was nestled comfortably away from metropolitan influence while obviously still enjoying a respectful influx of seasonal tourism.

The house itself wasn’t grandiose—wasn’t the sort of place to come to mind at the mention of a 250 years old mansion in Virginia, but with the red brimstones and the white window-frames, there was sort of a simplistic beauty about the exterior which placed it in a category of its own.

Steve’s brows perked, obligatorily slowing down the RV as the wheels hit gravel. “I didn’t think there were so many visitors.” He sounded terribly disappointed.

Well, true enough, the house evidently enjoyed more tourism than any of the places they had seen so far—the grounds were filled with people, the parking areas nearly completely occupied.

“We could always not go,” Tony offered meekly.

Barnes drew out a breath and glanced at him wickedly. “Scared, Stark?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “As if.”

“Oh come on, Tony. From what I’ve heard, this is one of the better haunted joints on the east coast,” Carol said, and leaned over Tony’s seat to press a kiss against his temple. “It’ll be fun.”

“Sure. It’s every farmer’s dream,” he commented dryly.

“It’s the ‘most haunted’ haunted house,” Natasha added, scrolling on some website on her smartphone. “It’s got dead girls and dead wives, and a dead couple, and a lot of dead men.”

“Awesome!” Steve called, looking way too enthusiastic just because a bunch of people had apparently died in here. Tony should probably find it more worrying than sweet.

“So, what do we do?” Sam asked.

“Take the tour through the house,” Carol said, then looked around. “Right?”

Tony blinked. “We’re really doing the stupid ghost tour?”

Rhodey grinned and put an arm around Tony’s shoulders. “Come on, if nothing else, it’ll be worth a laugh.”

Steve stood up from the driver seat and clapped his hands. “Alright,” he said, and because he really was a complete and utter dork who did grandfather-jokes, he added, “Let’s catch a ghost!”

They started with the grounds around the house. The grounds of the Graham Mansion were as big as the estate of Stark Mansion—not so much in structure as in means of acreage. There was a restaurant with bar on the premises, a pond and a gazebo. The gift shop was in the back alongside the courtyard. The property was surrounded by a number of bare-branched beech trees; and the whole appearance, all except the cars and the definite hum of passing traffic, made its origin more authentic.

“Major Graham is a Civil War hero,” Steve explained to Tony when he’d stopped at the name plaque at the fencing. “That’s why they named the house after him and not his father. He was actually the one who planned and built the whole building.”

Tony frowned at him. “How do you even know that?”

“I asked the cashier in the last rest stop,” Steve answered easily, before his expression got pensive. “You know, if you’d make yourself a bit more approachable, you’d find out that some people may surprise you.”

Tony stuttered to a complete stop. “Did you really just spring that on me out of nowhere? Who are you, Confucius?”

Steve shrugged, casting Tony a shit-eating grin. “ _The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions._ ”

“Uh God, you are the worst,” Tony replied. God, he loved that man. It was terrible.

Steve snorted. “Right, come on. The others are already inside.”

That was the exact moment that Tony realized all of the others were nowhere to be seen.

Well, great.

“Great,” Tony mumbled, but followed Steve inside the nonetheless.

“This was a horrible idea,” Tony commented as soon as they rounded the first corner and he nearly died of a heart attack when a loud scream echoed across the large hallway.

“And whose fault would that be?” Steve asked.

“I believe I’m looking at him.”

Steve grinned and shook his head. “You took up the pamphlet. Your idea. Come on, don’t be scared, I’ll protect you.”

Tony huffed. Steve was behaving a bit strange, wasn’t he? He took a detailed look at their surroundings with some resignation. “So you’re… absolutely sure you wanna take this stupid mystery ghost tour?”

A smile. Tony was a sucker for Steve’s smiles. “You’re not even curious?”

“Not a bit.”

Steve grinned and brushed past Tony, tugging at his hand and pulling him along. “Come on. They’re selling tickets in the gift-shop.”

“Oh what—I’m even supposed to _pay_ for your dork-like infatuation with these places?”

“Hey!” Steve called. “Watch it.”

Tony shrugged. “Just tellin’ the truth.”

“We’re definitely doing the tour,” Steve said. “Now, come on.”

Tony released an exasperated sigh and pouted. “But— _why?_ ”

“Cause you called me a dork. This way.”

The tour seemed to bring out a childish glee in Steve that Tony couldn’t help but find endearing. In the gift-shop, he ogled over the crappy voodoo dolls and flipped endlessly through the Millions of ghost books. When the cashier told him that spirits could only be captured through photography, he insisted on purchasing a throwaway camera. He was having far too much fun with this. That was the thing with Steve. He was an enigma. And he was always surprising Tony.

He was also taking so long that the others were probably already finished with the tour.

“You know this is all bogus, right?” Tony asked.

Steve turned to smile at him from where he was surveying the book series about Graham Mansion. “What,” he teased. “Don’t tell me you’re a nonbeliever.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “This is a tourist attraction for a reason.”

“Come on, Tony, learn to live a little.” He put the camera in Tony’s hand and struck a pensive pose next to a poster of some weeping ghost bride.

Tony laughed, and saw Steve’s eyes sparkling at the sound. That would be something he would definitely have to capture on camera.

Then the next tour started. They were about eight people in total, not including the guide—some British looking guy named Harold, who sported a deep Southern accent. As they crossed the threshold to the ‘Bride’s room’, Steve’s hand darted down to grasp Tony’s and pull him forward. The side-windows were paneled with dozens of old paintings, and there was a light flickering in the large bedroom area.

The tour itself was a laugh: slightly entertaining but all in all completely ridiculous. Harold explained the vast number of disturbances, told stories about the previous owners, made rasping noises as he explained why it was called the ‘Bloody Barn’. When the time came to take a picture of the mirror that was said to house the spirits of the ‘weeping bride’ ghost, Tony couldn’t get the camera to work and Steve spent the next ten minutes banging it against every piece of furniture he found until the tour guide snapped at him.

The only mystery here was why they hadn’t been kicked out yet.

Tony supposed this was interesting to anyone who entertained the idea of ghosts. However, he spent the most of the hour-long-tour rolling his eyes and scowling at Steve for bringing him here in the first place.

Evidently, by the time the group had moved to the old part of the house—back through the entry hall, the kitchen, and into ‘Clara’s room’—Tony had well and truly lost all remaining interest.

All of a sudden, Steve grabbed his wrist and dragged him back. He waited until the group had retreated either upstairs or to one of the outer rooms before flashing a pert smile right in front of the mirror. “Wanna pose?”

Tony was not impressed. “Really, Steve?”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were spooked.”

“Well, you don’t know better. I’m tired. We wasted three hours and gas getting here. Can we please just go?”

He shook his head, aiming the camera at the mirror. “They said it has to flash, right?”

“Yes. So that the very obvious plastic foil here can look like a ghost. Can we leave now?”

Steve took a theatrically deep breath and gazed at Tony with a faux-worried expression. “You know… that bug up your ass must be suffocating. Why don’t you kill it and put it out of its misery?”

Tony scowled but couldn’t stop the small snort from leaving his lips. “Ha ha. You’re so funny. There is nothing wrong with my ass.”

At that, Steve cocked a brow and after a moment’s consideration, he leaned back, giving the mentioned area a long, thoughtful glance before nodding his consent. “True.”

Tony stuttered to a halt. Had Steve just honest-to-God checked out his ass? What the ever-loving hell was happening here?

“All right, fine,” Tony ground out. “Just take the picture.”

Steve made a face at him, but did as he was told. He wound an arm around Tony and pulled him near, moving them back and forth until he could take a decent selfie of them both and the mirror. 

And as the flash went off, so did the lights. In the whole house.

There was a long pause; Tony’s breath lingered in the air as his eyes went wide. “What the fuck just happened?”

A warm and familiar hand tugged him to a comforting side. “Don’t get nervous,” Steve murmured into his ear and chuckled. “I’m ninety percent sure it’s part of the tour.”

“Nervous?” Tony asked. “Who’s nervous? I’m not nervous.”

And that was the last thing he said, before—out of the blue—zombies and ghosts and horror brides and every goddamn monster out of a horror flick suddenly walked through the hallway.

While Steve started to laugh next to him, Tony called himself lucky he hadn’t wetted his pants at the end of it all.

 

**| T minus 03:19:01:37 |**

 

When they left the mansion, it was already well into the night, and everyone was tired. Tony, on the other hand, was completely wired and Steve had to admit, it was sort of adorable. The ghost show had been pretty cool, all in all. The costumes were well-made and the make-up shockingly realistic.

“Alright,” Tony announced. “I won’t be able to sleep for a week so I might as well drive now.”

It was an hour drive to the camping ground, and Steve knew Tony probably didn’t have his license all that long. The last time they’d talked, he’d been in the middle of his practice lessons. The RV itself was easy enough to drive, but its dimensions were a bit hard to grasp. The route, however, was simple enough, so Steve decided to let Tony take the wheel for once.

Rhodes only nodded at him, clearly tired, and sat down on the sofa group. Steve sat down in the passenger seat.

Tony’s hands rose in the air and twitched in anticipation as he eyed the various knobs and devices in the car. “Ok, start ignition,” he said out loud and put the keys in the ignition and cranked it. He nodded, satisfied, then located the gear shift next to the steering wheel. “P, R, N, D… It’s D.”

Steve cracked a smile, half wary, half amused. “You have driven a car before, right?”

“Yes,” Tony said. “I drove a car when I took Driver’s Ed, okay? Stop freaking out.”

“I’m not—but you passed the test?”

“I’m a Stark,” Tony answered easily, like that was the answer to everything. Well, in some ways, Steve guessed it really was.

“Ok.” he exhaled. “That’s good… just, your parking brake is on.”

Tony just frowned, looking up at him, then glancing down at the armatures. “Uhh…”

Behind them, Rhodey chuckled. “The lever next to your seat, Tones.”

“Ah.” Slowly, Tony lowered the parking brake.

With an eye roll, Rhodey stood up. “I have infinite trust in the both of you to not kill us. Good night.” With that, he shuffled to the back of the RV, where his and Carol’s bed was located.

Steve cleared his throat. “Now, press your foot on the brake before you shift into Drive.”

Tony’s brows furrowed in concentration as he yanked the lever into drive and then slowly put his foot down on the gas. The car started, and Tony’s hands gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were white; his body leaned forward awkwardly as he focused on the road.

It took a while for Tony get comfortable, but he was a good driver, after all. Steve’s mind started drifting off and eventually, even Coca-Cola didn’t keep him from getting sleepy. “Should be there soon, right?” he mumbled, and Tony hummed in agreement. He sounded entirely too cheerful. Then, he blinked.

“Hey. Where’d the music go?”

“Radio stations out here are worthless,” Steve explained, his voice slurred.

“Grab my phone?” Tony asked. “There’s music we can synch. It should be in my jacket.”

“This thing has Bluetooth?”

“Duh.”

Steve groaned, but turned around anyway and leaned over the back of the seat. He flicked open Tony’s phone after Tony had told him the code (it was Jarvis’ birthday, and Steve would’ve remembered it anyway), and scrolled through the playlist.

“Here we go,” he murmured. “ACDC, Kiss, ACDC, ACDC, Guns’n’Roses, ACDC, Pink Floyd… ugh, really?” He turned back around and raised an eyebrow at Tony. “Why did I not know you had the music taste of a fifty year old man?”

Tony laughed. “Believe me, _Captain Rae Jepsen_ , if there’s one single thing makes me doubt you’re the man for me, it’s your taste in music.”

As soon as the words were out of Tony’s mouth, he got so red Steve was worried for a second that he’d pass out.

There was an uncomfortable pause. Tony’s body went completely rigid, and he avoided Steve’s gaze. “Sorry, I… I really need to stop saying these things.”

Steve nodded slowly, more to himself than anything else. “Um, there’s nothing wrong with my taste in music. Just because it’s not older than I am…”

Tony swallowed, and exhaled a shaky breath, glancing at Steve with a little more color on his face. “Everything you hear these days is a throwback to a bygone era, no matter how much they try to spice it up and call it ‘modern.’ It’s all been done before. At least the bands I listen to were innovative.”

“We don’t have to listen to anything, you know,” Steve pointed out. “We could just talk.”

Tony looked at him, and palpable fear crossed his face.

Steve exhaled an annoyed breath. “Why don’t you want to talk anymore?”

“Because I don’t want to talk about… what you want to talk about.”

Steve only barely refrained from rolling his eyes. “Doesn’t have to be about last night. I just meant a normal conversation. About anything you want.”

Tony frowned. “Like… a normal conversation?”

No conversation with Tony could be deemed as normal, but that was something Steve should probably keep to himself. “Yeah, like we were just having one.”

Tony considered this, then shrugged and relaxed. “Okay, fine. What do you want to talk about?”

Steve hummed. “How about college. Did you and Rhodes find a good dorm?”

Tony smiled slightly, as he glanced at him. “You’re aware my dad handles these things, right? So he just—”

“—bought the whole building?”

Tony snorted, nodded. “He bought the whole damn building. I have my own lab in the cellar, people will hate me.”

Steve leaned back. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. You excited?”

Tony sighed. “I guess I am. Feels like I can finally start with… doing what I want to do, you know?”

Steve nodded. He was definitely looking forward to that, too. His time at high school had been good, and their football team had meant the world to him. But now he could finally take the next step, and he almost couldn’t wait. “Yeah, I know what you mean. I… didn’t really have the time to do the things I wanted in high school. I’m glad I’m getting that chance now.”

Tony cast him a thin, slightly pained looking smile at that, and Steve wondered what he’d said wrong this time. He fell quiet after that, but Steve had waited too long for finally talking with Tony again and he wouldn’t let this opportunity slide. “Alright. Your pick,” he prompted, trying to keep the mood light.

Tony shrugged carelessly. “I don’t know, just pick whatever you like. I’ll see if I wanna answer it.”

Steve groaned. “That’s not—Why do you _always_ have to do this?”

Tony looked genuinely surprised. “Do what?”

“Make everything about a billion times more complicated than it has to be. I just _wanna_ talk with you.”

Now Tony looked offended. “I thought we weren’t gonna talk about last night!”

“I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about us. About _you_.”

“I don’t want to talk about me,” he said, then bit his lower lip contemplatively. “Let’s talk about you instead.”

Steve sighed. Sure. Why not the hell not. “What about me, then?”

Tony fell quiet for half a minute, his eyes darting around slightly while he stared at the dark road ahead of them. Clearly, he would be making this one count. Then, he eventually asked with a very quiet voice, “How many people have you kissed in your life?”

Steve raised both of his eyebrows. Okay. Not what he’d expected. “Um, counting last night?”

Tony glared at him. “No. Not counting last night.”

“Two. Your point?”

“No point. Just… two, huh?” His face clouded over, and there was something in his voice he couldn’t quite make out. “All girls?”

Steve sighed. So they _were_ talking about it. Just in Tony’s obscured way of beating around the bush until there was nothing of it left. “Yes, Tony. All girls.”

Tony considered this, then nodded and concentrated on the road again.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Could you… Why are you asking me this?”

Tony’s jaw tightened but he didn’t answer. They sat in silence, until Steve couldn’t take it anymore. “Your turn now. And no cop-out.”

Tony moaned lowly. “Come on, Steve, can’t we just drive in silence like normal people—”

“No,” Steve declared. “I just shared a secret, and a pretty personal one, I might add. Now it’s your turn.”

Tony raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “What, are we playing truth or dare now?”

“It could be.”

“Then I’ll take the goddamn dare.”

Steve smiled slyly. He’d really hoped Tony would say that. His tiredness all but vanished, and he set up a little straighter, casting Tony a meaningful look. “Good. Next car we pass, you’re mooning.”

There was a lengthy pause. Tony gaped at him openly. “What?! I’m driving!”

Steve grinned. “Oh, trust me, I’m _very_ serious.” He pointed to some back-lights ahead of them. “That one. Here, let me take the wheel and better drop your pants, Stark.”

Tony shook his head vehemently. “Are you nuts? I sure as hell won’t put my ass out of a _car_.”

“It’s that or answer my question, and I’m pretty sure you know what it’s going to be about.”

Tony death-glared him, then determinately made to stand up. “Fine. If I land in jail, I expect you to bail me out before the eclipse starts.”

Steve took the wheel and pressed down on the gas pedal. His eyes were on the road, but he eyed Tony all the same. This was going to be interesting. “Better hurry.”

Tony continued to glare at him, but he started undoing his pants. “Oh, just shut up.”

Steve snorted. He hadn’t exactly expected Tony to go through with it, but Tony was almost as bad as Steve when it came to losing a game. With a last sigh, Tony pushed down his jeans, mindful not to reveal too much.

Steve sped up and pulled up alongside some SUV they were now passing. There were two people in it, as far as Steve could see in the darkness.

Tony’s eyes were still shooting daggers at Steve, as he pressed the button to open the window. Still, he climbed up in the passenger seat, and with a last deep breath, stuck his bare ass out the open window. Steve could hear the repeated honks from the SUV and broke out laughing.

Tony closed his eyes, as he pulled up his pants. “I really hate you, Rogers,” he mumbled, then dropped down in the seat, dropping his face into both hands.

Steve sped up, still shaking with loud snorts of laughter. Even with the size, the Winnebago was one of the fastest cars Steve had ever driven. Tony cast a glance at the rearview-mirror, then shook his head. “I can’t believe you made me do that.”

Steve couldn’t stop laughing. “I really didn’t think you’d go through with it.”

“Me neither,” Tony muttered. “That was fucking embarrassing.”

“Aw, come on,” Steve said, grinning light-heartedly. “Learn to live a little. Besides… your ass is nothing to be ashamed of.”

Tony cast him a long glance. “Thanks.” He put a hand over his eyes and shook his head. “I’ve never done anything like that before.”

Steve grinned at him. “Then we gonna have to do crazy things more often.”

“Yeah.” Tony looked sideways at him, and smiled. His first genuinely happy smile since they’d had their big fight, and it made Steve’s insides sing. “We really should.”

 

**| T minus 03:16:09:52 |**

 

A long sigh hissed through Tony’s lips. True to his word, Steve had settled down in the stupid tent, as soon as they’d reached the campgrounds. And now, several minutes later, the lights were already out, with Steve very much not sleeping in the RV.

Tony tossed a sideways glance to the tent outside and frowned. The day had been a jumble of mixed signals and jilted confusion. Steve had been so nice to him, and sometimes, he’d been almost openly flirting with him, which he’d never done so far. They’d been ‘creepy-close’, as Rhodey always put it—laughing and bickering and always _touching_ —but that was just how Steve was; he was always close, and always a bit handsy with the people he liked.

And it was good; being close to Steve again. Tony might have to admit that it had been a stupid thing to do—to just block Steve out because he’d been embarrassed. He’d just thought that Steve had been well and truly disgusted with him, but that obviously wasn’t the case, so…

Friends. He could be friends with Steve again, right?

Although now… after kissing him… the night was plagued with very different thoughts.

Still, Tony thought belatedly, did it really matter? In about two weeks, Steve would be on the far west coast, playing football for Stanford. Maybe all of this didn’t matter, anyway.

Tony looked up again, and blinked when he spotted Steve walking around the tent outside. He had a blanket in hand and spread it on the grass. He lay down on it, both arms crossed behind his head as he gazed up into the sky.

Tony cleared his throat and settled back onto the sofa bed, turning his attention to the ceiling. Next to him, Sam was softly snoring, and everyone else was fast asleep, too.

Tony was halfway through reciting every good reason not to go outside right now for the third time, when he eventually gave up, grabbed his jeans, and quietly walked to the exit door.

A small smile crossed Tony’s face as he saw Steve, and how he was looking into the sky. It was completely dark around, the stars were perfectly visible.

“You look captivated,” he said quietly. Steve only startled slightly at the sound of his voice, and looked at him curiously.

“I thought you were asleep.”

Tony’s eyes softened imperceptibly. He shrugged. “Not really tired. Your ghosts spooked me pretty good.”

Steve smiled and moved to the side a bit so Tony could lie down next to him.

“It’s beautiful, right?” Steve murmured as his eyes travelled across the many constellations. “You don’t get to see that in the city.”

Tony swallowed, and nodded as he glanced at Steve. “Beautiful. Yes.” God, he was in so much trouble. He didn’t know what he wanted at that moment. All remained hidden behind a line of ambiguity.

“I don’t care, you know,” Steve said after a long pause. His voice was very calm, and he wasn’t looking at Tony, just stared up straight into the starry sky. “Who you like.”

Tony exhaled a long breath. This conversation had always been inevitable, it seemed. Might as well get it over now. “Don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing.”

Steve bit his lip. “Is that why you reacted the way you did? Because I didn’t make a fuss about it?”

Tony just stared at the stars. “I… I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“The truth is always a good thing,” Steve whispered.

Tony huffed. “The truth will get me punched, most likely.”

Steve chuckled, and turned his head sideways to look at Tony. “I can’t afford to punch you. Your dad could sue me for my whole college fund.”

Tony snickered and met his gaze. “It’s cute that you think that would suffice.”

“I haven’t exactly…” Steve exhaled a long breath. “Just tell me. Please. Why are you so angry with me?” It was barely a whisper.

“Because I don’t get it. Why you haven’t laughed in my face at some point, telling everyone that I like to suck dick, I—I just don’t get.” He shook his head, ignoring Steve’s grimace at his choice of words. “You’re not like other people. You don’t get upset with me. You get annoyed. You get frustrated. You get pissed. But you never… drop me. Not even after I… well, did that thing. And I… I would’ve deserved you being angry. I deserved for you to drop me.”

Steve didn’t bother to hide how disconcerted he was. “I wouldn’t.”

Tony nodded. “I _know_ , and that’s… I tried to mess it up. Tried last night—wanted you to hate me a little. So yeah, I took a low blow with that kiss. It’s not cool to do that to a guy, I know…” He sighed angrily. “Fuck, I’m all wrong.”

Steve arched a brow in surprise. “ _Wrong?_ ”

Tony winced and looked at Steve. “I don’t mean being gay. Hell, I know it’s not _wrong_ -wrong, although my dad sure as hell thinks so, but… it just… it doesn’t feel right. I don’t have exactly much experience, and what I have wasn’t… good. And,” he inhaled a low breath, and tried to keep his voice steady. “Sometimes, being normal would’ve been easier. Sometimes, it sure does feel wrong.”

Steve pursed his lips and firmly grasped Tony’s hand in his. “It’s probably strange, I’ll grant you, it’s new and frightening, and something you’ll have to come around to. But wrong? Tony, come on, this isn’t wrong.”

Tony stared at him for a moment. “You think so?”

Steve nodded, and there wasn’t an ounce of doubt in his eyes. “You’re one of the greatest guys I’ve ever met Tony. Everyone should be happy to be your boyfriend.”

Tony paused, frowning at him. “You know. Saying stuff like that might give a guy ideas…”

Steve huffed, smiling at the skies. “So get ideas.”

“Yeah?” Tony asked with a surprised tone.

Steve just shrugged and closed his eyes.

 

**| T minus 03:07:33:10 |**

 

It was late morning, and when Steve awoke, the sun was already nearing the crest in the sky. He awoke to a deepened state of relaxation, lying under a patchwork quilt he didn’t put there, his eyes blinking at the clear blue that met his vision.

Right. He’d been stargazing. And at some point, he must’ve fallen asleep.

Even so, it surprised him when he lifted his hand and looked down at his watch. He very rarely slept past seven, and now it was almost eleven a.m. He glanced back at the RV, and noticed the closed curtains. Well, that provided all the evidence he needed. The others had been sleeping in as well.

Steve released a deep breath. Time to get up.

Then he turned around and the wind was knocked out of him.

For whatever reason, it hadn’t even occurred to him up until now that Tony might have fallen asleep outside as well. His senses hadn’t been attuned to his presence so far. He didn’t know what he had been expecting, when waking up next to Tony, but it wasn’t what he saw now.

Tony must’ve gotten rid of his shirt, since he was clad in nothing but jeans with the first two buttons undone; he was sleeping on his side, chest turned to Steve, and his head reclined against his own arm. He looked so soft all over, so open where he was usually so guarded. And something about the way Tony looked almost careless while sleeping made Steve’s heartbeat quicken.

The skin of his naked chest… well, in the sunlight it gleamed almost golden. He could only resist its pull for so long, so he reached down and let his finger lightly trace Tony’s upper arm. He didn’t do much more than prod his shoulder, though his hand did take a brief detour to run through his black locks to see if they were as soft as they looked.

And oh, they were.

_I don’t remember you being this gorgeous._ Cringe. What the hell was he doing?

A sigh of contentment escaped Tony’s lips, and Steve pulled back like he’d been burned. As though reacting to his presence entirely, Tony shifted on the blanket, crooned almost kittenishly at the warmth, and murmured, “‘s early?”

Steve only stared, and felt a wall in his mind come crashing down.

As if sensing Steve’s minor freak out, Tony’s eyes opened, finding Steve’s with such immediacy that he doubted he had been asleep in the first place.

“Hi,” Tony said softly.

Steve drew in a breath. “I, um, hi.”

Their gazes held for a minute longer before Tony turned over on his back, stretching luxuriously. Almost instantly, Steve’s eyes travelled to the skin of Tony’s abdomen where a light patch of hair travelled down into Tony’s jeans.

Steve was in very deep trouble.

His eyes lingered on Tony’s chest. He never thought he would be partial to a man’s chest, but he was. Suddenly, Tony’s chest was the most sexy thing he’d ever seen.

“What time is it?” Tony asked.

“Getting close to 11:15,” Steve replied, shaking his head as if to clear it. “We… I guess I was sleepier than I… thought. And the others… well, I guess we were all tired.”

A loud snore from the RV sounded out in agreement.

Tony smiled gently, moving to sit up.

Steve’s gaze dropped to his back, travelling over the newly-exposed skin. “You slept… in your jeans?”

A wicked smile crossed Tony’s lips as he looked back at Steve over his shoulder. “Thought it’d be the courteous thing to do, as I usually don’t bother with anything at all.”

Oh. The images came before Steve could stop them. Tony sleeping—all skin. Tony in the nude. Tony—

_Stop!_ Steve licked his lips, trying to keep a stoic face.

“Watch it, Cap. You’re blushing,” Tony said on a snort.

Steve winced. Dammit.

Things grew quiet again—awkward and unsure. And before Steve knew it, he had released a deep breath and risen to his feet.

‘Confused’ was to minor a word for the way he was feeling right now. ‘Bewildered’ might be better. He wasn’t into guys. He’d never… he’d never thought about a man like that, and he _did_ play football, so there would’ve been plenty opportunities. And really, if he’d be attracted to Tony, he would’ve noticed by now, right? They’d always been close, they’d hugged, and laughed, and even slept on the same sofa and these things, but that had all been platonic, _right?_

True, Steve had never actively given his sexuality much of a thought. That might’ve been a bit naïve, but he just… he’d had two girlfriends in high school, and he’d genuinely loved both Peggy and Sharon. That should make things clear enough, right?!

Steve glanced back at Tony, who was slowly standing up and stretching his whole body.

_Wrong_. Most definitely wrong.

There was heat pouring into Steve’s lower regions, a yearning in his abdomen, and it was then that Steve realized: This was the reason why walking in on Tony had completely thrown him. He’d seen him writhing on his sheets; the right side of his body obscured in shadows, while the left was bathed in sunlight. At first, Steve had had no idea what to make of what he saw. For the first time since he’d seen a girl naked, he’d looked at the naked body in front of him and drawn a long, undeniable blank.

The images of Tony had plagued him, afterwards. His perfect bronzed body. His soft curves. His strong thighs. His firm ass. And his cock—god, he’d thought about Tony’s cock so often. He’d just thought it had been the shock but, in hindsight, his mind had most definitely taken a different turn here and then.

He’d thought about how it’d feel to hold the weight of it in his palm. About tasting him, then spread him with his fingers and delve into his body, lap at his skin and sample his mouth while his legs closed around him and squeezed him so good he’d come undone just from that. He saw them together, limbs entwined, bodies moving together, Tony’s mouth suckling greedily on his cock before Steve took him again and again and again…

Oh well, maybe he’d really been a bit ignorant about all of this.

And then Natasha had asked him to join them on their road trip. And suddenly he was where he was. Standing next to Tony, and realizing for the first time, that what he’d taken for a close friendship might’ve always been something else entirely.


	4. Day 3: Roanoke – Gatlinburg

**| T minus 03:01:23:06 |**

 

Steve was freaking out.

Really, there was no other way to describe his feelings right now. He was having a major freak out and only barely managed to keep his cool around the others.

So he liked guys, too. That made him bi, right? Or maybe it really was just Tony and that would… was there even a word for that? He’d once read about people only being attracted to other people when they were already close to that person and maybe that was it, maybe Steve wasn’t gay—bi—he just, well, liked Tony, and therefore _liked_ -liked him.

Ugh. Everything in Steve itched to take out his smartphone and google the hell out of all this, but Bucky was too nosy for his own good and the last thing Steve needed right now was someone to play Twenty Questions with him.

For the span of the next day, Steve tried to stay away from Tony as best as he could within the confined space of the RV. He couldn’t think with him around, with his gaze always trailing to Steve like he was waiting for him to say something already.

Steve knew he’d probably given Tony a few slightly-too-long glances yesterday, and his behavior hadn’t been all that platonic-friendly, but yesterday, that hadn’t meant anything. Steve could have made a joke about it and everything would’ve been clear. Now, it _meant_ something and Steve had no clue whatsoever what to do without hurting Tony in the process.

Steve knew that he was—at least on a physical level—attracted to Tony. And he knew Tony must be attracted to him, too. It didn’t get much clearer than masturbating to someone’s picture, right?

But that wasn’t the point. Steve needed time to process. Steve was open minded, sure, and he knew his mother would love him no matter who Steve liked, but he was allowed a day of freaking out about apparently not being who he thought he was, right?

The amount of rhetorical questions he was asking himself was getting a bit worrisome.

Even the small part of him that still had trouble with the concept of liking a guy like that, had to admit that it was different because it was Tony. Liking Tony wasn’t a difficult concept at all—just, combine that with this whole supernova of realization that had imploded over his reality, and Steve was Freaking. The. Hell. Out.

Which would’ve been fine, had he been home alone. The problem was, now that he and Tony had finally settled their fight, Tony was always looking at him. Always staring. And Steve couldn’t think at all.

So he ignored Tony. Which instantly made Tony edgy. Which, after a while, made Tony brooding and sullen and ultimately, his expression had darkened into something entirely not good.

The others had woken in the early afternoon. They’d headed for lunch at some greasy diner before eventually driving for their next destination. Apparently, Tony had already made reservations for a campground in the Smoky Mountains, since it was always pretty crowded this time of the year.

By the time they left the highway to drive on to Gatlinburg, the sun was just setting outside. The Townsend Campground was situated right in the middle of the mountains, with a spectacular view into the valley, with its various waterfalls and hundreds, millions of trees.

As soon as Rhodes killed the engine, though, Tony shot upwards from his seat and moved faster than Steve had ever seen him move. He grabbed his sunglasses and messenger bag, then all but ran to the RV’s exit. The slam of the front door sliced through the room like a silver bullet.

There was a long pause.

“Okay, I don’t get it,” Rhodes said, eventually. He leaned forward to look through the windshield. “I thought you guys made up, finally. What’s gotten into him?”

Steve groaned and flopped back into his seat. He released another sigh and only begrudgingly opened his eyes, when Natasha prodded him with a finger on his biceps.

“Lover’s quarrel?” she asked slyly.

“Oh, shut up,” Steve said and tried to keep the panic from his voice. Did Natasha know? God, Natasha probably knew. He kept looking at her, but her expression betrayed nothing.

“Seriously, Stevie,” Bucky said while he leaned over him. “I know I’m repeating myself, but why do you bother with that madman, again?”

“Hey man,” Rhodes warned. “That’s my best friend you’re trash-talking about. Better check what you’re saying.”

“It’s nothing,” Steve mumbled and made to stand up. “We’re good, it’s just… a misunderstanding. I’ll go talk to him.”

“Yeah, no,” Rhodes replied and put a hand on Steve’s chest to stop him. The expression on his face allowed no discussion. “I’ll go bring him back and _then_ you’ll talk to him. I don’t know what’s with you guys, but I won’t have Tony brooding when the eclipse starts. He has been waiting for this for all his life, so you’ll better make sure he is as happy as a toddler by then.”

“I don’t think—”

“I don’t care what you _think_ , or whose fault it is. Hell, it’s probably Tony’s. But for once, please, just put whatever it is behind you so he can enjoy this moment. You might not care for the eclipse, but Tony does. And so do I. It’s a one-in-a-lifetime thing and I need it to be perfect for him, okay? God knows he didn’t have a lot of things to look forward to this year, so yeah, get your head out of your ass, Steve—please.”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, fine.”

With that, Rhodes left, and Steve buried his face in both hands. He would just tell Tony, and make him understand that he needed some time to think about all of this. That was better than not talking to Tony at all. He shouldn’t let Tony guessing. It was stupid. It was beyond adolescent. He would tell Tony that he was attracted to him but needed more time to work through his feelings.

Which in itself was stupid, because he wasn’t even sure that he _knew_ how he felt, and they only had about half a week before freshman orientation would begin. The only thing he knew for sure was that it was a wonderfully warm feeling to be around Tony. That the cold he had experienced in their weeks of separation was something he could never have again. He desperately wanted warmth again. It was unlike anything else—more powerful than anything else.

For now, though, there was waiting. Steve took hold of his sketchbook, retreated outside to set up his tent, and waited for Rhodes and Tony to return.

 

**| T minus 02:16:49:36 |**

 

It was well past midnight, and Tony wasn’t back yet.

All things considered, Steve felt he was handling his frustrated concern in a calm, adult-like manner. Pacing back and forth in front of the RV, sending accusing glares to the darkened sky every few seconds as though it was responsible for this mess.

However, one more hour, he’d decided, and then, he would look for Tony himself. He wasn’t the sort of guy to avoid an issue like this.

Another fiery glance to the sky. Nothing still.

The others were already fast asleep, and Steve—Steve was going to break something, soon.

The minute he had Tony back here, he was going to tell him everything, he would yell at him for disappearing just like that, hug him close, and then they would talk. All reservations aside. They would talk. Tony had to now. This constant avoidance was getting them nowhere. It had to be all or nothing. Right now. Tonight.

Steve was too preoccupied with his own thoughts that it came as a big surprise when there were actually footsteps. It was even more a surprise when a very inebriated Tony stumbled around the corner. The scent of alcohol hit Steve six ways from Saturday, but was no match for the bewildered, glossy look behind Tony’s eyes and the predatorily silly smile upon his lips as he saw Steve standing there.

“Steeeve…” he called, and yeah, he was definitely completely wasted. Wonderful. So much for having an honest conversation.

Steve rushed forward to catch him as his body threatened to waver, all anger immediately shoved aside.

Steve gulped audibly. “Where’s Rhodes? I thought he was looking for you.”

“Was,” Tony agreed with a wide grin. “Got wasted in some weird pub down the street. Rhodey’s saaad… and ‘s with Car now.” He leaned closer, as if sharing a secret, and said, while he was simultaneously breaking into giggles, “they’re bangin’.”

_How lovely._

Tony stepped even closer to Steve. And from the heavy lidded look in his eyes, Steve received the distinct warning that he knew exactly what sort of drunk Tony was.

“Tony—” Steve warned, but that was all he got out.

Tony’s eyes blazed with sudden want and then his arms wrapped around Steve in a manner that was purely instinct. He pushed Steve down with an admittedly surprising amount of strength and guided him into the tent. He had Steve on the floor within seconds, his lips dancing down his throat as he managed to yank his shirt from the waistband of his jeans.

Steve’s body quivered with alarmed arousal as his mind clinked out. His hands blindly sought Tony’s wrists, trying to make him slow down.

“Tony,” he panted. “Tony, you have to stop.”

“No,” Tony replied stubbornly. He was practically writhing on Steve’s lap, his unmistakable erection rubbing sensually over Steve’s crotch. In the meantime, he had evidently given up on Steve’s shirt and fumbled with his pants instead. “Want you,” he panted.

“Tony, you’re—”

“Stupid. I was stupid. And I want you to fuck me.”

Steve laughed nervously— _because Oh. My. God_ —battling with Tony’s hands. “You’re not stupid. Just drunk. Too drunk. Let’s wait until you sober up a bit, alright?”

An honest-to-God _growl_ rumbled in the back of Tony’s throat. His teeth latched onto one of Steve’s still-clothed nipples—his fingers skating over the buckle of his belt. “Don’t you want me? I’m the kind of guy everyone can fuck whenever they want. Don’t you want that? I can be so easy for you…”

Steve released several harsh breaths, glancing down at Tony with a frown. “What…” he said slowly, enjoying the view for a few wonderful seconds before he felt Tony’s hand trailing _into_ his pants. God, he hadn’t realized how fast Tony could move. “No. No! Tony, no! We can’t do this now.”

“Don’t you feel how hard I am?” Tony asked sultry, grinding into him.

He could nearly weep. “No.”

Tony’s eyes were one hundred percent fixed on Steve’s, his hands holding his hips steady while he rolled against him. “Oh, I think you do.”

“Tony—”

This was not the Tony he wanted, he reminded himself. This was Tony he would not take advantage of just because he was a horny drunk.

But for the way Tony was sliding over his lap and nuzzling his stomach, he had to do something now. “Tony.” Steve’s hands shot to his arms and he hauled him back up. “No. We can’t. You were angry at me.”

“Nope.”

“And you’re drunk.”

“Not drunk.” Oh Jesus, Tony was reaching for the fastening on his own jeans now. “There’s lube, I bought lube… I have it… somewhere.”

Steve closed his eyes, reminding his body very sternly that he wasn’t going to throw everything away for quick sex that would be sloppy rather than memorable. He refused for this to be it.

He had messed this up already, and it was time to fix it, not mess it up some more.

His hands shot upward, gripping Tony’s shoulder and pushing him back. He tried not to be too harsh, tried to keep his movements gentle, but he needed to get Tony off him or this would end very badly.

“I’m not going to have sex with you,” he said slowly but firmly.

There was evident hurt in Tony eyes and something darker Steve couldn’t quite figure out.  Something he would have to deal with come dawn, no doubt.

If there was any chance in hell that Tony could look at him after tonight.

“Fuck you, Rogers,” he spat at him, while hitting him with clumsy fists. “Do you want me or not?!”

“We’ll talk about this in the morning,” Steve said, forcing Tony to look at him. “We will talk about it, I promise. But not like this.” With that, he crawled out of the tent and dragged Tony with him.

“Whe’re’we going?” Tony slurred.

“Inside. Time to go sleep it off.”

Tony leaned against him and allowed Steve to help him walk towards the RV.

“Do you have the keys?” Steve asked, realizing that the others were somehow up and about and he hadn’t even realized.

After a bit of fumbling in his pants’ pockets, Tony held them up, dangling them front of his face.

“Great,” Steve said matter-of-factly, “but those are the keys to your house in New York. Try again.”

Tony frowned and reached forward to dig in his other pocket. This time he found the right key. Steve held him steady as he unlocked the door. It took several tries, but eventually he got it open. He all but carried Tony inside and set him on the bed, trying to be quiet, so not to wake the others.

“’s tha’ mean you don’ wan’ me?” Tony whispered, as Steve tucked him in.

“It means I don’t want you _like this_.”

Tony frowned. “And what does that mean?”

Steve stood up as well. “I don’t want you sobering up and deciding you hate me for taking advantage.”

“I could never hate you,” Tony said and it sounded so broken that Steve wanted to curl around him and never let go again. “And I won’t hate you when we’re done.” He made another feeble try to reach for Steve, but he batted his hand away.

“Maybe not,” Steve said. “How about yourself, then? Because, knowing that I inspire self-loathing is such a turn-on.”

Tony only stared at him, but his lids were already closing in.

“Sleep now,” Steve ordered gently and leaned in to press a gentle kiss against Tony’s forehead. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow. I promise.”

He sat with Tony for hours, patting his head, and stroking his hair, before he eventually made his way back outside.

There was no way he was sleeping in the same room as Tony tonight.

 

**| T minus 02:06:19:46 |**

 

The room was spinning.

Tony hadn’t even opened his eyes, and the room was already spinning. One of those fast spins that made him claw for balance even before he was fully conscious.

A few minutes passed before Tony felt he could attempt to broach the line between sleep and wakefulness any more than he already had. His mind raced against his body’s will, trying to remember what he had consumed the night before and just how much of it.

And, more importantly, what he might have done afterwards.

There was movement in the room. And then, someone was pressing a warm washcloth to his forehead, tilting the mattress with his weight as he sat down beside him.

“Hey,” he said softly. _Rhodey_ , Tony’s mind supplied weakly.

“Hey,” he replied, reaching for the wrist that held the washcloth to his brow and rubbed circles into his skin there. “What happened?”

“You pretty much drank yourself under the table last night,” Rhodey murmured. “I found you in some pub in Gatlinburg. It’s a miracle they had any bottles left.”

Tony nodded faintly. “Mmm… yeah, I remember booze.”

There was a brief pause. “Do you remember anything else?”

“No. Just booze and then nothing.” Tony drew in a breath and decided to brave it. He opened his eyes to meet Rhodey’s troubled gaze. He looked more concerned for him than anything else. “And Carol,” he remembered. “She turned up there after you.”

“Hmmm,” Rhodey agreed and there was the slightest tug of a smug grin at the corners of his mouth.

No way.

“You dog!” Tony exclaimed and laughed. “Congrats.”

“Shhh,” Rhodey said. “She just woke up. But…” He grinned a little. “Thanks.”

Tony chuckled. At least one of them was happy. “Did you have to drag me here, or did I find my way back?”

A gulp at that. “Yeah, well… I kind of lost you at some point. Sorry. But you did get here on your own, apparently… Steve said you went to bed as soon as you got here. You don’t remember?”

He pursed his lips in thought. There were flashes here and there and an odd sense that he needed to be very embarrassed when it came to looking Steve in the eye today, but other than that, nothing particularly scandalous came to mind. “No,” he said. “Not a thing. Why? Did I do something? Oh God, I did something, didn’t I? Dammit. This is why I didn’t bring any hard liquor.” He tried to sit up and immediately fell back with a pained groan.

Oh, this was not good.

The smile of reassurance that crossed Rhodey’s face was only mildly comforting. He removed the washcloth the next second despite Tony’s murmur of protest, then gestured to the nightstand. “He said you’d have a bad headache,” he said. “He ran out this morning to get some aspirin. You want it now?”

His mind could do nothing but pick out the objectionable portion of that statement. “Who?”

Rhodey’s lips twitched with a grin. “Well, Steve, of course. He was the only one sober last night.”

Tony groaned. He had no idea what he’d done, what he might’ve told Steve. Fuck.

To his credit, Rhodey was very good at reading his mind. His eyes softened accordingly. “He didn’t seem angry. Just worried.”

When Tony didn’t say anything, a long sigh heaved off Rhodey’s shoulders, and he was up the next minute. “I’ll get you some coffee. It’ll make the hangover more tolerable.”

With that he was gone. Tony groaned and flopped back to the mattress. The next time he woke up, the coffee next to his bed was already cold. The RV was abandoned, and Tony released a long sigh and tried once more to get up. He glanced around the room wearily as though daring the hand of God to knock him back down again.

His eyes landed on the aspirin Rhodey had placed at his disposal; the scent of fresh coffee hit the air. With another sigh, Tony snatched the pills and obediently followed his nose.

It wasn’t until he made it to the kitchen and grabbed for the coffee pot that the first wave of memories hit him. Out of nowhere a doorway opened and every word of last night tumbled out. The night, what had happened—what he had done—everything put on the table for retrospection.

_I’m the kind of guy everyone can fuck whenever they want. Don’t you want that? I can be so easy for you…_

Tony froze, quivering with the weight of the coffee pot in his hand. His eyes went wide. “Oh my God.”

He replaced the pot onto stove before he caused a catastrophe. His hands clutched at the counter while the pills fell to his feet as the room started spinning all over again.

Fuck. He had single-mindedly destroyed every chance he might’ve had with Steve. It would be a wonder if he could even look at Tony this morning. Tony turned slowly and slid to the floor, his heart pounding. He felt tears well up in his eyes and brushed them away angrily.

Things were just too messed up now to even begin to sort through. And still, he couldn’t get the images out of his mind. Stuck there on repeat. How he’d practically mauled Steve, how he’d rutted against him and _fuck_ —fuck it all.

Why Steve hadn’t just punched him and be done with it, he would never know.

 

**| T minus 02:03:17:19 |**

 

“I swear to God, if I get one more mosquito bite before this trip is through, I’m going to turn them all into mush.” Bucky expelled a deep, tremulous sigh as he flopped down onto one of the folding chairs in front of the RV. He had two already opened beers in his hand and offered one to Steve.

Steve hummed his thanks and took a small sip before setting the bottle down next to him. His pencil flew over the sketchpad in his lap, outlining a very distinctive set of eyes. He couldn’t focus, though. His insides were overwhelmed with conflicting feelings, thoughts of Tony and last night and what would possibly happen now.

“But it’s nice here,” Bucky went on, his voice conversational. “Quiet… peaceful…”

Steve nodded, and took a moment to look around. The sky was huge and cloudless, bright and blue, and very, very far away. The trees around them were still slightly damp from a recent rain shower and the wind was whistling above the cliffs. He released a wistful sigh and turned his eyes once more to the almost-blank sheet staring up at him. His thoughts were locked away somewhere, and what talent he had was captured in a torrent of confusion.

They settled for a few minutes in companionable silence, with Bucky studying the mountains around them. Then, he cleared his throat. “So, have you seen Stark today?” Bucky asked. “Nat said he was pretty wasted. He probably doesn’t have a very pleasant morning.”

“Probably,” Steve agreed distractedly. He couldn’t really get the depths of Tony’s eyes right, and it was starting to go on his nerves.

“So, you guys made up? The big fight’s over?”

“Yeah,” Steve replied.

Bucky hummed and leaned forward. “Yeah… looked like it. You know, from where Stark’s tongue were busy licking your whole face.”

Steve almost broke the pencil in half. He didn’t say anything; just stared at Bucky with wide unblinking eyes. “How,” he asked after a moment. Putting the pencil down on the paper.

“The bunk bed has a window,” Bucky explained. “Did he, uh… okay, this sounds completely stupid, but—did he force himself on you, or something? I mean… Stark’s been obsessed with you from day one, and I always kind of figured he swung at least both ways, so…”

Steve huffed. “Tony weighs… what, 120 pounds? He couldn’t _force_ himself on me if he tried.”

Bucky didn’t seem convinced so Steve let his shoulders sag and just spilled it all out in one go. Now that Bucky knew, all bets were off anyway. “We kissed. Two days ago. Things got complicated, that’s why he left yesterday. When he came back, well, you know. I wasn’t… he was drunk, sure, but he didn’t force himself on me. I stopped him before it got any further, but… I might’ve been… willing, under different circumstances.”

There was a long, blank silence. Steve felt his face heat and took a deep calming breath.

“I…” Bucky met Steve’s eyes with visible confusion. “I didn’t even know…” He searched his eyes as though unsure of the question, himself.

Steve dragged a hand over his face. “That makes two of us. Believe me, I was just as surprised as you are.”

“But…” Bucky started, leaning closer to Steve’s ear, “what about Peggy? And Sharon? You were so sickeningly in love with them…”

Steve groaned and threw his sketchpad to the ground, letting his face fall into his open palms. “I’m not gay. I’m—bi, or maybe it’s just a thing with Tony, I have no idea. I just found out, alright?”

They were quiet for a minute longer. Bucky sighed and sank back against the RV. He put a hand on Steve’s shoulder, patting him a few times. “Okay… wow.”

Steve smiled at him weakly. “Yeah. I know.”

“I mean… I’m cool with it, obviously. But… God, Steve—Tony Stark? Really?”

Steve let both hands drop, and set his elbows on his knees instead, staring straight ahead. “Yeah,” he said, and it felt good—to acknowledge it.

Getting to know Tony had likely been the most revolutionary thing that had happened in his short adult life. He was consistently taking Steve’s expectations and blowing so far past them that he could barely keep up.

Being with him was unexplainable. It always had been. He’d just been too busy with being Tony’s friend to realize how much more he wanted. And the sensation welling inside him was so deep, so painfully present, that it could only be love.

“Yeah… Tony.”

 

**| T minus 01:23:14:57 |**

 

All of the others had left for ‘grocery shopping’, and while Steve suspected that Natasha had something to do with that, he was less annoyed and more grateful that he might get to talk with Tony without an audience.

For now, he was still in the RV, though, hiding away and licking his metaphorical wounds.

When Steve eventually got his bearings, and went inside, the look Tony gave him all but froze his insides. A look, and nothing more. He sat on the sofas, his tablet dangling on his knees. He looked like shit, to be honest—still attractive, but obviously hung-over. He also looked ready to say something but evidently decided against it, standing up instead to walk intently to the back room and locking himself away.

“Wonderful,” Steve exhaled, then louder, “That’s real mature!”

“Just leave me the hell alone!” Tony yelled back. “I don’t need your pity and I don’t need your fake smiles, okay? So just stop this… weird game of chicken or whatever it is you’re doing because it’s messing with my head!”

Steve was terribly confused and had no idea how to react to that. He might have been giving off mixed signals, he knew that, but so had Tony.

“I know the window’s in the back is too small for you to climb out,” Steve called back, then set down on the sofa. “I’m not gonna leave.”

There was a pause. “Fine!”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah, fine!”

Their stalemate lasted, all in all, for ten minutes. Then, the door to the room flew open and Tony steamed back out again. He opened his mouth to say something likely insulting, but Steve stopped him by blurting, “Do you want to help me fix dinner? I want to make burgers.”

Tony’s mouth was still open, and he only closed it with visible strain.

“Look,” Steve went on, “we could just go outside, prepare dinner, and talk about it like grown ups.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Tony snapped. “I messed up for good, I get it. We’ll just get this trip over with and never talk again. That was the plan anyway, right?”

Steve felt a sudden burst of anger well up inside him. Of course Tony would prefer ignoring all of this instead of just facing what was happening between them. It was so goddamn typical and Steve was about to give him a piece of his mind when he suddenly realized how miserable Tony looked, how completely and utterly _devastated_.

So Steve took a long and calming breath, and instead of yelling at Tony again, he simply said, “Help me make dinner, Tony. Please.”

Tony bit his lower lip, not quite looking at Steve anymore. “Fine. If you want that…”

Steve eyed him warily—took a step closer. “Yeah, I want that,” he said, “even after you went all day-time soap opera on me with the big slamming door.”

There was the slightest tug on the corners of Tony’s mouth; barely visible, but still there.

 

**| T minus 01:22:09:03 |**

 

They were standing side by side next to a table in front of the RV, and chopped vegetables. It felt like a lifetime ago, them sharing a beer, talking about everything and nothing. Just them and this blissful togetherness… and without all this baggage they had now.

A million things ran through Tony’s mind—what to tell Steve, how to apologize for what had happened last night. How to survive the dreaded ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech while knowing perfectly well that he was one step from losing the most important person in his life.

For whatever he intended to say, though, Tony’s mind kept returning to one conclusion: ‘I’m in love with you.’ And, of course, the second Tony almost did voice those words, Steve put his knife down and cleared his throat.

Then he said something. Three words. And that was all.

“I’m bisexual.”

Tony didn’t even blink as he looked up at Steve. For everything, he had not expected something so abrupt.

He also didn’t even realize that he had moved closer to Steve until his answering, “You… are?”

Steve was inches away from him, his body one hundred percent stiff. It didn’t take long to prompt his gaze; so he turned and gauged Tony’s eyes. “Yeah. I… I figured it out just now.”

Tony swallowed, trying not to do a happy dance right then and there, because Oh. My. God. That was—he’d never thought there would ever be the chance to get what he wanted. Sure, yes, it was just a theoretical chance, but a chance all the same. Months— _years_ —of longing, and now this. Now there was a chance.

“What made you figure it out?” he asked.

Steve’s eyes fluttered shut and his hand found Tony’s. “You’re a genius, I’m sure you can put two and two together.”

Tony stared at him for a long, incredulous minute, unknowing what to say. Finally, he resorted with a weak, “Really?”

“Really,” Steve confirmed with only the slightest hesitation.

For the first time in weeks, Tony felt some calmness settle inside him. It was wonderful. And terrifying.

Tony breathed slowly—in and out. “Well,” he decided after a minute. “I’m glad you know now.”

There was a brief pause at that, and Steve smiled up at him through his long lashes. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Me, too.”

Their eyes met at that, and they exchanged a concise, however heartfelt grin of mutuality.

“So…” Tony prompted slowly. “While my behavior last night is still inexcusable… you don’t… hate me for it.”

Steve shook his head firmly. Then, he took a step forward and pulled Tony in a hug. “God, Tony. I could never hate you. My sexuality aside, you’re my best friend, my… you’re everything to me. And… I’m glad it was you,” Steve mumbled, pressing his face into Tony’s shoulder.

Tony just hugged him back, gaze wide and imploring. Every single one of his nerve endings was buzzing with jubilation and relaxed bliss. “Me, too.” he said, glancing at the side of his face. “I know that my attempt at… wooing you has been… well, ‘pretty crappy’ comes to mind, but if you have another term—”

“Disastrous? Catastrophic? Devastating?”

“That works,” he agreed, hands clutching at Steve’s back. “I’m sorry I messed everything up.”

Steve pressed himself against Tony in a manner so intimate Tony had never, even in his wildest, considered possible. “Hardly.” Steve’s head tilted as he considered him, drawing out a deep breath. “Not getting to talk to you for weeks… not knowing where we stand… that was the worst thing that ever happened to me. It was killing me.”

Tony licked his lips. “I’m so sorry. I thought you hated me… and… well, jerking off to your photo probably wasn’t my smoothest move, and…” He trailed off and his cheeks heated in a flash of heated remembrance.

A smug smile creased Steve’s mouth, and he glanced away, down, and back to him again. “At least we can talk about it now.”

Tony felt his face heat. “It wasn’t exactly how I had imagined to come out to anyone. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while, I had a whole speech ready, and then you just… well, you know.”

Steve nodded slowly. “I should’ve reacted better… I should’ve told you it didn’t matter. You just caught me off-guard, but… I’ve missed you,” Steve confessed.

Tony smiled. “I’ve been right here.”

“No,” Steve disagreed. “No, you haven’t. You shut yourself off. I’ve tried to approach you so many times and you didn’t even give me a chance.”

His eyes narrowed. “It looked as though you couldn’t decide whether to punch me, vomit on the carpet or laugh at me.”

Steve looked thoroughly offended. “How can you even think that? I was surprised, shocked, maybe, but—” He shrugged, allowing his own wounded pride to bleed through now that they were finally talking about it. “You kicked me out,” he said, and his eyes falling shut. “And you didn’t even look at me the next day. What was I supposed to think?”

“I’m sorry,” Tony said. “I’m so sorry. I don’t… I was so sure you hated me. If you’d said something—”

Steve pulled back, eyes narrowing. “You shut yourself off,” he retorted. “I wanted to talk to you and you brushed past me with a ‘fuck off’. And then you deleted me on all your accounts. For some reason, that gave me the impression that you didn’t wanna talk.”

Heat scorched Tony’s cheeks again, his hands curled around his shoulders in a frozen embrace. “I’m sorry about that. All of it. I don’t like my life without you. These past three months? Really sucked.”

Steve frowned thoughtfully. “Mmm… I don’t recall any sucking.”

Tony snorted and leaned back to look at Steve fully. “Sassmonster.”

“We reap as we sow,” Steve intoned, cupping Tony’s cheek with his left hand. “I don’t like my life without you either. It’s been all out hell.”

Tony pursed his lips. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Steve chuckled lightly, and the motion rumbled against his skin in a way that was so thoroughly soothing Tony could get lost in the sensation. “And here I was half convinced you’d strangle me as soon as you woke up today.”

“You thought I’d strangle you for not taking advantage of my alcohol-induced sluttiness?”

“Yeah. Sounds ridiculous if you say it like that.” He smiled and leaned in to push his forehead against Tony’s. “And I suppose I’m completely wrong about that. You’ve always been so linear when it comes to your emotions.”

“Says the man who thought I’d strangle him and still sat by my bed and patted my poor head all night. How’s that linear?”

Steve shrugged. “What can I say? I’m living on the edge.”

They shared a grin before breaking eye contact.

“I’m sorry.” Tony tilted his head. “About being me.”

“Since when have you ever apologized for being you?”

“Since I started behaving like a Grade A asshole.” Tony smiled kindly. “I tend to get carried away when I want to have something.”

Steve flushed again. He leaned in just the tiny bit further, breathing in Tony’s skin, the warmth of his throat, and—on a second thought—pressed the most innocent kiss against his pulse point.

“I, uh, I need a bit more time,” Steve murmured after a moment. “And yeah, I know I’m not giving you the clearest indicators of needing time, right now, but I do. I… this is all so new.”

Tony didn’t say anything for a minute; merely nodded and took a small step back. “I understand.” He smiled a little. “I know I haven’t exactly been practicing what I preach here, but I’d never force myself on you. You’re… confused. You need time. I get it.”

While Steve knew Tony meant every word he said, there was an undertone in his voice. Something dark and pained and… did he think Steve was turning him down?

“That’s not a no,” Steve said, because if he’d learned _something_ from the last days, it was that he needed to use words that couldn’t be interpreted the wrong way.

Tony frowned. Then he picked up the knife again and continued chopping the peppers.

 

**| T minus 01:19:36:22 |**

 

The others arrived back at the camp about an hour later. After dinner, they all sat outside for a little while longer, staring out into the mountains until the light was gone. They talked about college, about plans for next Christmas, about spending the next holidays together. Through it all, Tony was uncharacteristically quiet, only talking when directly prompted. He seemed… lighter, but there was still something pulling him down—and Steve had no idea what it was.

When everyone called it night, Steve decided to take the tent again, and this time, Tony didn’t even argue. He just cast Steve a short flimsy smile, before stepping into the RV. A few minutes later, the lights were out.

Once asleep, there was usually very little that stirred Steve to consciousness. He had always been a heavy sleeper, and therefore, he found it rather surprising when the sound of a door opening and closing had him instantly alert.

The soft pads of feet had Steve lean up slightly, glancing to the tent’s opening.

“Steve?”

He didn’t move and closed his eyes again. Curiosity ebbed him; he wanted to see how Tony’d act if he thought him asleep.

“Steve,” came another tentative whisper. When Steve didn’t answer, Tony eventually moved forward and opened the zipper of the tent’s hatch.

A moment later, his hand brushed Steve’s shoulder. “Steve?” he whispered again, squeezing him softly. When he failed to stir again, Tony sighed and drew back. “All right. You’re asleep. Or maybe not. But there’s something… and I don’t know why I’m talking to Captain Dead To The World… but I am. There’s something I need to say.”

Steve killed a grin. Tony was too damn cute for his own good.

There was a pause. “And, on the off chance that you can hear me, I… I understand what you said. About needing time. And, I would give it to you, if I knew I’d have another chance, but… this might be it, right? Who knows what comes after this, if there’s even an ‘after this’. I just… I really like you, Steve. In a completely not-platonic way. Well, also in a platonic way, but… yeah, you get the drift. And I think you at least find me attractive, right? So on the off chance that we won’t be seeing each other after this trip is over, I want to make the most of the time we have…”

Steve frowned slightly. Did Tony really think they wouldn’t be seeing each other after this? He would be lying if that didn’t sting at least a little. College was a busy time, sure. They’d meet a lot of new people, but of course they’d be seeing each other again. What made Tony think Steve would just drop him because they weren’t on the same school anymore?

“Steve?” Tony asked again, his voice almost hoarse. He leaned down a little more, and—God, Steve was so aware of him. Every hot little breath Tony took echoed hotly in Steve’s lungs.

Tony was right. Maybe he just needed to let himself had this. He might be confused, but he still knew what he wanted. And this was a stolen hour. A few blissful moments before the frightening reality of this new part of their lives set in.

It was with that conviction that he sat up, ignoring the way Tony almost jumped out of his skin. “Okay,” he whispered.

“Okay?” Tony echoed, his eyes large.

“Okay,” Steve confirmed and promptly pressed his mouth to Tony’s. He wound both arms around his waist and hauled Tony into his lap.

Tony was stunned stupid for a long moment, unsure of anything until hearing Steve’s moan around his tongue. And then all was left to instinct. Tony hugged him close, grinding his palpable erection into his center with all the fervor Steve was still a little hesitant to express.

Steve’s hands cupped Tony face and he pushed his tongue forward just a little. Tony moaned against him and all but threw his arms around his neck. God, how he had wanted this. Relief clashed in an explosion of sensory—Tony’s mouth, weaving his fingers through his soft hair, pressing his body against the hardness that met his stomach. And he was swallowing every single one of Tony’s murmurs and moans and made them his own.

This. This was how it should’ve been between them all along.

Tony’s mouth was enthusiastic against Steve’s, wrestling hot, needy kisses as his hands took chart down his body. When his hand reached for the waistband of his boxers, though, Steve’s entire body froze.

Immediately, Tony pulled away from him, instead searching his eyes with flecks of hope. “It’s okay,” he said. “We don’t have to… kissing is fine. I like kissing you.”

“I’m hard,” Steve panted stupidly. And God, he _was_.

Tony snorted as he cupped his cheeks. “I was kinda banking on that.” He took Steve’s hand and guided it down to his crotch, pressing it against the hard bulge there. “And I’m right there with you.”

A wave of panic crushed Steve’s system. While this was exactly what he wanted, there were certain mechanics to be adhered. Tonight was a step into unknown territory. He only ever had sex once, and that had been over far too quickly, and with little finesse. He didn’t want to ruin things with Tony with sex. His heart couldn’t survive it. “I don’t even know how this works… with guys. I—”

Tony smiled softly, caressing his face with his free hand as his other persistently tugged at his boxers. “We don’t have to go all the way, Steve,” he said, a charming blush tinting his cheeks. “I just… I wanna do something… you—Can I do this? Please.”

It was the _please_ that got him. It struck him as a bit of ironic though he would never laugh at Tony. But Tony, sitting in his lap, his body warm and pliant, asking him politely if he could bring him off?

When Steve nodded, Tony leveled his mouth to his again. Meanwhile, he wrapped his free hand around Steve’s neck, pressing his brow intimately against his. And when Steve’s cock sprang into his hand, they both moaned for the feel of it all. His tentative fingers, so shy, so careful, running down the length of him in a way that turned him on more than anything else he’d experienced.

Tony’s eyes were closed. His brow was pressed to Steve’s. He dipped his hand inward to caress his sac, his fingertips soft and exploratory.

Steve’s head arched slightly against him when he released a long moan, a smile tickling his lips. Tony cupped him with pristine tenderness, thumb rubbing circles into his sensitive skin with shy reserve.

It dawned on him then. Tony was memorizing him. Committing his every contour to memory. There was no gratitude in his touch—this was pure yearning at its best. For a split-second, Steve vowed to ask him why he was so afraid to lose Steve all of a sudden, but then, Tony’s hand wrapped fully around his length, a quivering breath pressing past his lips.

“You feel so good,” Tony said and leaned inward to taste Steve’s lips briefly. His thumb encircled the leaking head with every pass; caressing him so expertly Steve was afraid this would be over far too soon. And when he felt his sensitive hardness being pulled apart by Tony’s dry hand, he clutched at Tony’s shoulders and gasped.

“Tony—”

“Shhh… I know.” Tony leaned back to pull out a little bottle from his pants’ pockets, and coated his palm with the fluid, before returning his slick hand to Steve’s dick. Steve grasped Tony’s hips and held at the new sensation, thrusting forward ever so-slightly.

Oh fuck, that was better. That was infinitely better. Tony’s graceful fingers were gliding up and down, shifting ever so often to squeeze his sac. Up and down, again and again. His thumb becoming more boisterous—pressing into his head, earning jerks and moans and whimpers and long mewls of Tony’s name with no relent.

Soon enough, his speed gained momentum. Grasping not too tightly, but not lose at all. Touching Steve with a blatant disregard for reservation. And never—not for a second—Tony removed his brow from Steve’s. He was keeping that intimacy. That touch. Kissing Steve’s lips every few seconds.

It was too much. Steve’s hands dug into his skin when he felt himself about to tumble over. “Shit, I—”

Tony nodded encouragingly. “Let go, God, you look so hot.”

Steve’s hands abandoned Tony’s hips and grasped his arms again, holding him fiercely as the waves crashed over him. Tony was quivering against him. Shaking almost. And when Steve looked down, he realized that Tony must’ve come too, if the slightly damp stain on his jeans was any indication. And slowly, allowing a few moments to tick by, he opened his eyes, finding Tony’s upon his.

“I could’ve returned the favor,” Steve mumbled, kissing Tony’s lips.

Tony smiled against his mouth. Tenderly. Lovingly. “One step at a time, yeah?”

They stared at each other for endless seconds. Passing on what words could not be trusted with.

“Thank you,” Tony said and grabbed for some tissues. “For giving me this.”

He turned around somewhat, cleaning first his hands and then, a bit awkwardly, the insides of his pants.

Steve licked his lips, not knowing what to say—not knowing if he should say anything at all. If it were his choice, they’d be doing this over and over again. In variations, sure, but this… God, he wanted this more than anything.

He nodded in place of words, tucking himself back into his boxers before he could grow hard again. With their scents lingering together, it was difficult not to imagine what it could be like. Every day like this. Hours in unending ecstasy.

But for now, they had this.

They had tonight.


	5. Day 4: Gatlinburg – Nashville

**| T minus 01:08:54:46 |**

 

There was something to be said about waking up and immediately finding someone’s lips planted to your mouth. _Steve_ , Tony’s mind supplied in a haze and he responded with an appreciative hum. And true enough, Steve’s arm were around him, pulling him against his chest while he ever-so-clumsily pressed kisses against Tony’s lips.

“Morning?” Tony mumbled against Steve’s mouth.

Ugh, he was feeling sticky in very unpleasant ways. Still, it was worth it. After last night, there was nothing he needed so much as Steve’s body against his, his breath all around him, his lips on Tony’s skin.

“Morning,” Steve replied, fisting his t-shirt and pulling Tony’s mouth back to his. His touch wasn’t nearly as domestic as the night before; his tongue tackled Tony’s, tasting him to the fullest. God, how was Tony supposed to just let this go? How could he possibly just say goodbye to Steve? How could anyone expect him to move on from this?

“You’re kissing me,” Tony murmured, regaining some ground. There would be a moment to cry his heart out, but that moment clearly wasn’t now.

Steve nuzzled his hair. “Thought kissing was all right now.”

“It is. Definitely is. It’s just… I must’ve morning breath.”

Steve smothered a grin. “Don’t care,” came the answering murmur before he pulled him down for another long kiss, licking inside Tony’s mouth as if to proof his words.

“You don’t have morning breath.”

Steve’s grin widened and he ran a hand across his cheek. “I’ve been awake for a while, did a small run across the lake, brushed teeth…”

“You were outside?” Tony asked sleepily. “Ugh, I’ve crushed on a morning person.”

Steve’s eyes softened and he ran a hand across Tony’s cheek. “Comes with the early training.”

“You football players have it too easy.”

“Yeah, sure. Easy’s the word. I train five times a week and the rest of it, I spend in the gym.” He smirked. “And I have to put up with being ogled all the time.”

Tony bit his lower lip. “Yeah. All these people just waiting to jump your bones. Sounds horrible.”

Steve frowned thoughtfully and nodded. “Yeah. They’re all push-overs.”

“Hey!” Tony exclaimed and shoved against Steve’s chest.

“I know one guy in particular who’s completely gone for me.”

Tony rolled his eyes as his blush deepened. “Get bent.”

Steve snorted and nuzzled Tony’s jawline. “Rather bend you over something,” he mumbled.

Tony’s mouth opened wide. “Steven Rogers!” he gasped, scandalized. “Did you just make a sex joke?”

“Maybe,” Steve replied on a wink and leaned down to press another lingering kiss against Tony’s lips. “We should get inside. The others are probably already up. I’ll make you breakfast if you wanna shower.”

Tony smiled at him. A shower sure sounded great. “You will?”

Steve shrugged. “Sure. Think we still have some of the pancake mix you’re so obsessed about.”

“You’re gonna cook for me?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “What’d I just say?”

Tony shook his head. “Can’t believe I’ve found a man who will cook for me and doesn’t mind my morning breath.”

Steve leaned back down, brushing his nose along Tony’s. “You forgot ‘incredibly sexy’, and ‘world’s best kisser’.“

Tony snorted. “Sure. And he’s also got an ego the size of America.”

Steve shrugged, unable to stop grinning. “And that’s nothing compared to the size of his—”

“Oh my God!” Tony laughed, and leaned back in to kiss Steve senseless. “You’re impossible. I love it.”

“Mmm, yeah?” Steve asked, smiling. “May I have that in writing? I need to tell the others.”

Tony nodded, and frowned suddenly. “Shit. Rhodey’s gonna kill me.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t told him yet. That I’m… into guys. Shit, I should’ve told him first.”

“Yeah, you should’ve,” Steve agreed. “But I wouldn’t worry too much. He’ll be mad for a moment, and then he’ll be cool with it.” He leaned down and pressed a kiss against Tony’s lips. “I told Bucky.”

“Oh God, you didn’t.” Tony groaned. “He’ll castrate me.”

Steve snorted. “Not about us. Or, well, kind of, but not—I told him about me. About, you know.”

“And?”

“He was surprised… then he got over it. And Rhodey will, too.”

Tony hummed and leaned closer against Steve.

These past two days had been the best of his life. The absolute best. And despite all of Tony’s happiness, he was terrified. Not just about Rhodey—this, this was the beginning of a whole new life. His own future seemed to be set in stone and Steve? Steve would be in California, soon. And Tony would’ve liked to believe that they could make the long-distance thing work, but… at the end of the day, there was no telling if this was truly the beginning of something, or also the end of it.

 

**| T minus 01:08:15:59 |**

 

It was practically universal law that if any two people had sex within a ten-mile radius of Natasha Romanov, she would pick up on it immediately. Steve had no qualm with sharing the news with the world; he simply didn’t want Natasha to let the cat out of the bag before he was granted the opportunity to get a word in.

Which was why Steve spent a good ten minutes with staring into Tony’s blackened out phone-display, trying to put himself together as much as possible. He made a series of practiced ‘unsatisfied faces’, to Tony’s infinite amusement, before they eventually decided they looked as good as could be suspected under the circumstances.

Before they left the tent, however, Tony yanked him back to kiss his breath away one more time. Steve didn’t find it in him to complain. His soft mouth touched his lips, and Steve closed his eyes and allowed himself to get lost in Tony for a little while longer.

The next second, though, the zipper of the tent was lowered and Carol was staring right at them, her eyes wide and apologetic. “Oh God! Sorry!” She took a second before taking in the whole scene. “Con-grat-ulations?” she asked, then sniffed the air. Steve felt his face heat. The scent was probably unmistakable. Next to him, Tony snorted softly and looked down with noted embarrassment.

So much for announcing the news on his own.

“Sorry,” Carol repeated quickly. “The others wanted to leave soon, and Sam fixed breakfast.”

Steve nodded. “We were on our way over.”

“Good. Do that before, you know, Bucky or Rhodey go search for you.”

Tony nodded with a grateful smile. “Okay. Thanks.”

“Okay, well…” Carol nodded diplomatically. “I’ll go.”

Tony licked his lips and nodded, hand subconsciously reaching for Steve’s. “We’ll be over in a minute,” he said. “And, uh, Car?”

She stopped with a small grin. “It’s fine, I’m not gonna say anything,” she said, needing no further direction. And her acceptance was plain but heartfelt. “Really—congratulation.”

Tony flashed a favorable grin. “Thanks.”

Carol nodded again but did not reply, instead turned to leave the tent without making another sound. And dutifully, though with palpable hesitation, Steve tugged on Tony’s hand once more and followed.

 

**| T minus 01:08:06:11 |**

 

After about two point five seconds upon entering the RV, a sly grin spread all over Natasha’s face. “Good for you,” she said, leaning back, inspecting Steve’s and Tony’s admittedly still pretty rumbled state of clothing. Tony had at least wrapped Steve’s sweater around his hips, covering everything that needed to be covered. She, Bucky, Carol and Sam were sprawled around the dining room table. In the background, Steve could just hear the shower coming to a stop, so he guessed Rhodey was still in the bathroom.

Bucky looked back and forth between Steve and Natasha. “What?”

“They were having sex,” Natasha said with a shrug, eyes dropping to examine an article in her magazine. “It’s pretty obvious.”

“So much for practicing your unsatisfied face,” Tony murmured into Steve’s ear.

“Oh God,” Bucky groaned. “I really didn’t have to know that.”

Natasha released an exaggerated breath and twisted in her seat. “Steve has found someone to get him laid, something he has been grossly in need of since—quite frankly—I’ve known him. And even you admitted last night that Tony was the least likely person in the world to hurt him. So please put an end to your irrational objection right now.”

Steve stared at Bucky in astonishment. “You really said that?”

He glanced down. “Didn’t mean it,” he replied unconvincingly. “I just… I was talking and words were said. That’s all.”

“Aww, Barnes.” Tony said in a tone that clearly betrayed his surprise. “I knew you secretly liked me.”

“Yeah, I really don’t,” Bucky shot back. “Again with the words that meant absolutely nothing.”

“Um?” Sam raised a hand slowly, frowning at Steve. “Did I… I don’t know, miss the moment where you came out?”

Steve felt heat rising to his cheeks. “I, uh, that… that would’ve been yesterday, I guess. I’m, well, I’m bi.” Every time he said it now, it did roll off his tongue a little easier.

Sam nodded, though more to himself than in actual understanding. Then, his eyes travelled back to Tony. “And you? I didn’t know that about you either.”

“Know what about him?” Rhodey asked from where he stood in the doorway to the bathroom. He was already dressed, a small towel slung around his neck.

Steve felt Tony going rigid next to him. “Great,” he murmured, then brushed a hand over his face.

“I’m right here,” Steve told him quietly and only just refrained from taking his hand.

Tony took a deep breath and offered Rhodey a self-conscious smile. “Alright, uh, Rhodey, remember when I told you that I couldn’t take astrology lessons with Mr. Brown in 8th?”

“Yeah?” Rhodey offered with a puzzled expression.

“That wasn’t because I couldn’t stand him but because I basically got a boner every time he tried to teach me the star constellations. And last year… you know… with the crazy trip to MIT? Well, the guy at the physic’s lab had asked me once if I wanted to grab dinner with him sometime, and I kind of stalked him for a week after that, and—”

Rhodey held up a hand, a deep frown etched on his forehead. “For God’s sakes, Tones, just say it.”

Tony sighed, but squared his shoulders. “I’m gay. I’m into… guys.”

There was a stunned pause.

“Well,” Rhodey said after half a minute, looking around before his eyes settled on Tony once more. He dragged the towel down from his shoulders and shrugged. “I’ve had my suspicions, I guess.”

Tony glanced at him timidly. “You did?”

“Yeah, I… I caught you staring at guys sometimes, I don’t know. Mostly at…” His eyes darted to Steve for all of a second, before snapping back to Tony. “Uh, never mind, well… since you never said anything and started going out with girls, I began to think I had gotten it wrong.”

“I was… still figuring it out,” Tony said softly.

Rhodey stared at nothing for a second, then shrugged again. “Sure, no biggie.”

Tony blinked at him dumbly. “No ‘biggie’? That’s it. Really?”

“What did you think?” Rhodey snorted. “That I’d drop you because you’re into dicks?”

Tony frowned. “Uh, no…”

Rhodey was staring at him as though he had spontaneously broken into song. “Wait, what—you really thought that? Are you on _drugs_? You think I’m, what, a homophobe? Fuck, Tones, what the hell?”

Tony just shrugged and looked around at the others. His eyes lingered on Bucky. “I didn’t think… you’re all just fine with it?”

“Why not?” Bucky asked and pointed his thumb at Steve and Carol. “I don’t care. You’re gay. They’re bi. Whatever.”

“Bucky!” Carol yelled with palpable horror.

Rhodey’s eyes widened. “Carol?”

Carol stuttered before she leaned forward intently, pushing a finger against Bucky’s chest. “Next time you decide to out people in front of their boyfriends, stop and think for a second how that makes them feel, buddy, alright? I needed more time to tell him!”

That obviously sent Bucky for a loop. He could do nothing but stare at her for several long seconds. “Oh shit, sorry.”

“Damn right you’re sorry!”

Bucky licked his lips and digested the notion. “Fuck, really. That was stupid.”

“Correct again.”

Rhodey licked his lips and expelled another sigh. “Okay, I—I cannot frigging believe I have to say this, but: I’m NOT a homophobe! I don’t fucking CARE who likes who, alright?” He shot a warm smile in Carol’s direction, then stepped towards Tony. He put both hands down on his shoulders and stared down at him. “I know you are probably freaking out right now, so I will say it, very slowly, and very clear: You’re into boys, and I approve with all my heart. I was 99 percent sure you were crushing on…” Another millisecond-glance at Steve. “…someone. I don’t think differently of you, you’re still my best friend.” With that, he pulled him into a firm hug. Steve could see that it took Tony about a moment to let all of this sink in, before he eventually relaxes against Rhodes’ chest and hugged him back.

“It’s not weird now?”

“No,” Rhodes assured him. “For like, two seconds, I tried to remember if you’ve ever checked me out and I think you didn’t, which—by the way—only shows how bad your taste is, but no, it’s not weird now.”

Tony smiled and Steve was almost sure his eyes were at least a bit watery. “We grew up together. Otherwise I’d be all over you, buddy.”

“Hey,” Steve called, but there was no heat behind it. He was just glad Tony finally had this off his chest.

At that, Rhodes glanced at Steve once more, and from the way his eyes suddenly widened, he was probably having a huge epiphany. “Oh fuck, and you’re bi?!” he exclaimed, as if only now realizing it. He pulled back, but his hands still remained on Tony’s shoulders. “He’s bi.”

Tony grinned widely. “Yeah, I’m kind of aware.”

“Oh,” Rhodes voiced numbly, then his eyes widened. “Oh!” He stepped back, looking at both of them, then at Natasha, who merely nodded without even taking her eyes off the magazine in her hands.

“Well, good for you,” he said and shoved Tony playfully.

Bucky cleared his throat. “That’s nice. Really. But can we please get back to something that might be potentially relevant to everyone here and not your daytime drama that is—don’t get me wrong—not all that entertaining.”

“Second that,” Sam agreed, though he was still smiling a little at the both of them.

 

**| T minus 00:23:35:41 |**

 

On their way to Nashville, they spent a few hours in the American Museum of Science and Energy. Tony had been there before twice, but he’d promised Rhodey to make a quick stop either way. The exhibits weren’t news to either of them, but the others seemed to have fun, so Tony counted it as a win.

Later, upon Steve’s request, they stopped at a huge-assed pink elephant to make a selfie, taking it as the metaphor it sure as hell wasn’t meant to be.

All the while, Tony’s hands were practically wrapped around Steve’s constantly. It felt great, to show his affections like that, but the more time passed, the more Tony had to think: Only two days, and he’ll be gone. Two days, and we’ll have to end it again.

He tried not to think about it too much, but the knowledge was there. Always.

They arrived at Nashville in the early noon, setting up everything on the campground, before walking into the city. In Nashville, they went straight to lower Broadway. There were restaurants up and down the street, bars with live music, and one record shop after another. They stopped in a few bars that didn’t have a ‘21 or over’ age restriction during the day and stayed for a few hours. They listened to the music, and eventually even decided to do some karaoke. Steve and Barnes started by singing Bob Marley’s _Three Little Birds,_ which was easily the most hilarious thing Tony had ever seen.

After that, they had dinner at some Barbeque restaurant, before walking to the Country Music Hall of Fame. The building housed all sorts of exhibits, the Hall of Fame itself, and, of course, another gift shop.

And of course, Steve was buying some tacky Elvis Presley bobblehead.

Then, they took a last detour, walking through the Centennial Park where there was a full size replica of the original Greek Parthenon. By the time they came back to the camping ground, it was already dark outside. The temperatures had dropped somewhat, and the sky was thick with stars.

Together, they fixed up dinner and lit up a fire outside to grill some steaks. Afterwards, they set up chairs and pillows and blankets around the fire, and there was a box of long sticks on a table stacked with marshmallows, graham crackers, and chocolate bars. The area of the camping ground all but vibrated with laughter and excitement, and often, Tony would hear someone tell stories from their last solar eclipse.

Soon enough, they were all in varying stages of sugar comas, lying on their pillows around the smoldering bonfire. The stars formed a blur of light as Tony squinted his eyes the way he used to on Jarvis’ lap in front of the Christmas tree. Steve was lying on a blanket between him and Natasha. Sometimes after things fell a little more quiet around them, he leaned over and kissed Tony on the tip of his nose.

Barnes snorted. “God, how did I not notice that?” he asked quietly. His head rested next to Natasha’s, who was asleep on his chest. “You two couldn’t be more cliché if you tried.”

“Oh, I’m sure we could,” Steve retorted, and promptly leaned back down to give Tony a real kiss, tongue and all.

“Shut up, Barnes,” Tony mumbled against Steve’s lips, blindly flicking Barnes off.

“Just ignore him,” Natasha advised—not asleep, then. “He’s just trying to bait you.”

Tony nodded, though he did nothing to wipe the omnipresent smile from his face when Steve pulled off of him. The fact that everyone was pretty much okay with what was happening between them and that—outside the expected leers, stares, and almost-commentary—no one had said anything negative, struck Tony as an utter miracle. The least he’d expected was for Barnes to punch him once and be done with it. His not-quite-approval might be very palpable but also pretty much resigned.

“I’m gonna go get more drinks,” Steve announced. “Anything particular?”

“I wouldn’t mind a beer,” Sam decided, from where he was sprawled out on his back, staring at the sky above next to Rhodey and Carol.

“Second that,” Tony and Barnes intoned simultaneously, giving each other a long leer.

“All right,” Steve affirmed, lingering. “Anything else?”

Tony took a moment to look at Steve before forcing his eyes away. _Don’t think about it_ , he thought, or he knew he wouldn’t stop. “Just come back quickly.”

“Oh God, kill me now,” Barnes moaned.

Steve rolled his eyes at him, then offered Tony a smile that was more dazed than he would have liked, and went inside the RV.

God, Tony had completely lost himself in this. Surely. Fast. This togetherness was addictive, it was like drowning a slow, delightful death. He was losing himself and heaven help him to survive the loneliness that would follow.

Tony smiled at him warmly as Steve came back ten minutes later. On his way, Steve turned off the RV’s headlamps and lay back down next to Tony. They were pressed against each other, knee-to-knee, head-to-head, breathing the same slow breaths.

Eventually, the others called it a night, one by one, and it was just him and Steve.

“So… tomorrow’s the day, huh?” Steve asked after a moment of quiet.

Tony hummed in agreement. Yeah, it really was.

“Excited?” Steve asked.

Tony nodded. “That, too.”

Steve’s brows furrowed. “What is it?”

“I’m…” Tony sighed. “Not to quote ‘Tangled’ but, …what if it’s not what I thought it would be? What if I’m disappointed?”

_What if this is the last happy day I’ll have because you’ll be gone soon after?_

“I’m sure it’s gonna be everything you ever thought it would be,” Steve said. “And if it’s not… we’ll find a new dream together, okay?”

A new dream, sure. And 3000 miles between them.

“Okay.”

The stars above them fanned out in waves, brilliant against the complete darkness. It was impossible to know where earth and space began or end. It was one fantastic stretch of dark and light, glowing blues and greens.

And for a moment, Tony was awestruck that life could give them such breathtaking beauty. So many lights floating there, a universe of infinite worlds.

_I really, really don’t want this to end._

Tony took a couple of deep breaths, staring into the night sky, thinking how some secrets were easier to tell in the dark.

“I don’t think I did it right,” he said quietly. “You know… when Jarvis died.”

Steve frowned, glancing at him. “What do you mean?”

“They gave me that leaflet. At the hospital. It’s… like a to-do list. Howard was in China, doing business, and my mom was—she sort of just tuned out.” He remembered how his mother had just drifted into rooms for weeks and stood there not moving for ten minutes at a time. She locked the keys in the car and she cried while dressing in the mornings. “So I read it and I did the things it said to do. I wrote an announcement for the paper and called the registry office. I deleted Jarvis’ message on the answerphone. I ordered flowers.” He ticked it off on his fingers as he whispered the list. “I cancelled his subscriptions. I cleaned his room. But the standard groceries just kept coming. Along with new Earl grey tea.” Tony’s whispers had probably reached a hysteria pitch, so he took a deep breath. “Jarvis was the only one who liked it. We have thirty jars of Earl grey tea, now.”

Steve reached for his hand, held it. “I can drink some Earl grey.”

“Thank you.” Tony sighed. “But it’s not that… It’s—I did everything the damn leaflet said. I picked the willow coffin. I chose the hymns. And I still… I still didn’t even manage to cry at the funeral.”

“Tony…” Steve prompted with a gentle voice, but Tony needed to get it out now or he never would.

“I wanted to,” he confessed. “But I just… I couldn’t cry for him.”

_There was a wake afterwards, in some English pub—with a few of Jarvis’ friends. People were telling funny stories that they didn’t finish, too upset and breaking off halfway through. But I didn’t cry then, either. The first time I cried wasn’t till February, the day I wrote you that message to leave me alone for good._

_What kind of a person cries over a boy, but not their father?_

He didn’t tell Steve that part.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Tony said.

“It doesn’t have to make sense.”

When Steve met his eyes, there was palpable sorrow and regret. “I wish I could’ve been there for you. I’m so sorry I wasn’t.”

Tony smiled, feeling lighter than he had in months. “I know… and I wish I would’ve let you.”

 

**| T minus 00:18:09:54 |**

 

It was midnight, or close to it, and every inch of Steve’s skin was alive. Tingling.

The low music coming from Tony’s phone ended and changed over to a song Steve recognized. His eyes widened. “Did you pick that?”

Tony nodded and a grin spread over his face.

“I love this song,” Steve admitted.

“I know, you cheeseball.” Tony’s eyes locked on Steve’s for a moment, then he gave him a meaningful smile. He stood up and held out his hand to him, swaying slightly to the beat of the song.

Steve looked up at him, confused. “What do you…”

“I’ve never danced with anyone before.” Tony looked at him expectantly. When he didn’t budge, he rolled his eyes. “You gonna make me dance by myself?”

In one fluid movement, Steve was standing upright and Tony was in his arms, his temple resting against Tony’s head as they moved to the music. He closed his eyes and breathed him in. He smelled so good and in that moment, Steve could almost believe that there really was a bubble around them, and nothing outside of it mattered.

As Steve’s hands moved down to rest at the small of Tony’s back, Tony tightened his grip around his neck. When the song ended, he pulled back a little to look him in the eye, and the pretense of dancing stopped. Now they just held each other, and Steve stared down into the brown of Tony’s eyes.

“Tony…” His voice and face both filled with trepidation.

Tony let go with one arm and looked at him intently. “I’m sober. Well, mostly. Two beers don’t count, right?”

Steve nodded a little. No, they really didn’t.

“Sure, you—” He couldn’t talk anymore, because the next second, his lips were covered with Tony’s. As Steve closed his eyes and opened his mouth to deepen the kiss, he forgot all of the reasons why he’d ever believed this wasn’t exactly what he wanted. Steve’s hands wandered up to tangle in his hair, to stroke his face. Finally, he broke off and rested his forehead against Tony’s.

“Tent?” he mumbled.

Tony nodded. “Yeah. Tent. You know, I’ve sort of come to love camping.”

Steve smiled as he panted, struggling to catch breath. They stumbled into the tent together, mindful to pull the zipper up behind them. When Steve turned around to look at Tony, though, he was already sitting in the middle of the tent, looking at the ground with a serious expression.

“Tony?” Steve prompted, worried.

“You… Do you remember how I told you I’m the sort of guy everyone can fuck?” Tony asked, and there was something akin to fear in his eyes.

Steve nodded slowly. “I didn’t think you’d remember.”

“I…” He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “I lied about that. I, uh, only ever did it once, you know? And being the traditionalist that he was, he had me go through the great fun of getting fucked almost-dry and with about zero prep.” Tony was staring pointedly at his feet, but even in the darkness, Steve could see that his cheeks were tomato-red. “I don’t want to kill the mood or anything, I’m just… I wanted you to know, that… I’m not like that. Easy, I mean… I haven’t—”

“I know you,” Steve said quietly, nearing Tony slowly… carefully. “And I never thought you were this sort of guy.”

Tony stared at him a moment longer as though waiting for himself to believe it.

Then he rose to his knees slowly, intently, never once breaking his eyes away from Steve’s. He was watching him closely, as though daring him to make a move. Steve didn’t. He couldn’t. He couldn’t even blink or twitch or frown.

Tony’s hands were trembling but certain. He cupped Steve’s face tenderly and searched his eyes for a long, endless moment before he pressed his lips to Steve’s. And Steve melted into him, and the taste of him sent a long, coursing moan through his system.

Tony pulled Steve down with him. He lay down on his back and Steve moved on top of him. His hands wove around Tony’s shoulders, while pressing his pelvis against Tony’s.

At that, he whimpered Tony’s name against into his mouth—a sound of surrender, even to his ears. That was it. There was no more fighting this.

As if on cue, Tony pulled back, staring at Steve with pure want. “Now,” he said, breathing in raggedly.

“Now?”

“Now—you gotta tell me to stop now, if that’s what you want. I—”

Steve’s eyes widened. He recognized it for what it was—a last cop out. Tony thought he wanted to stop? Now?

“No stopping,” he decided. “Do _you_ want to stop?”

Tony perked a brow and Steve caught a glimpse of a cocky smirk. “Hell no.”

And that was that. Steve didn’t even have a chance to answer. Tony was grasping his shoulders, pulling him back with a fierce movement, mouth ravaging his.

Steve’s hands curled under Tony’s shoulders, with his legs entwined around Steve’s waist as he pushed his hips into Steve’s with heady, desperate gasps. He was moving against his erection in long strokes, and it was quickly driving Steve out of his mind.

A trembling breath squeezed through Steve’s lips as Tony pulled his own t-shirt off of himself. Instantly, he lowered his hands to the skin Tony had revealed. He was aware that Tony was watching him closely, but didn’t care. His eyes were fixated on his chest—his chest that he could touch freely now.

“You’re so beautiful. You were driving me crazy the other day.”

“Knew it,” Tony said cheekily.

Steve rolled his eyes. “You were doing that on purpose, huh?”

Tony shrugged, unapologetically. “There’s only so many ways to find out if someone swings your way. Showing some skin and seeing if you’re being ogled is one of the easier ones.”

“So I was ogling?”

“You were one step from drooling,” Tony said, leaning up and brushing his lips over Steve’s. His hands slid over his back, nimble fingers massaging his skin through Steve’s shirt. “Can I?” he whispered, sliding his hands down to the hem of his shirt so he would not mistake his intent.

“Yes, please.”

Tony smiled but didn’t reply. He pressed a kiss at Steve’s temple before sliding his hands under his camisole.

Steve’s own mouth was pressing feverish kisses against the skin at his throat. Christ, he ached in all the right places. It was time to stop thinking and just go with it. In that moment, Tony yanked his shirt over Steve’s head. Once his chest was bared to him, Tony pulled at his nipples, and dared to nip down and lick at one of them.

Steve clutched at him desperately, head flinging back. “Oh my God.” He hissed and threw his head back when Tony’s teeth came out to play, his grip on his shoulder tightening. “Fuck.”

The way Tony was grinding up against his crotch, he was going to embarrass himself. And quickly.

“Tony,” he moaned, hands sliding up to his arms. “Tony, we have to—”

“I want you.”

Steve’s arms tightened around him. “You said something about, uh, lube, the other day?”

Tony breathed a heady sigh, before he nodded, his hands skimming to his jeans pocket. He produced a little bottle and swallowed before pressing it into Steve’s hand.

Steve sensed his discomfort und brushed his nose over Tony’s. “You know I’m gonna be careful, right? I’ll… you’ll have to guide me through it, but I’m not gonna do anything you don’t like.”

At that, Tony smiled. “I know that. I wouldn’t even be here if I didn’t know that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure.”

Steve hummed, pressing a chaste kiss against Tony’s lips before glancing at his sweatpants. Meanwhile, Tony’s left hand was skating intently down his front to undo the button of his jeans.

Tony’s legs encircled Steve’s hips, not surpassing the opportunity to tease his clothed backside with his free hand. Steve chuckled into his skin and squeezed his ass in retaliation, inspiring a careless smirk on Tony’s lips as his touch moved to the persistent hardness that remained frantically in need for attention. At Steve’s answering grip, Tony released a long moan and thrust eagerly into his touch, murmuring his name as though he was a god misplaced among the heavens.

“This all for me?” Steve asked softly, squeezing him again.

Tony panted. “I think pretty much every hard-on I had in high school was for you.”

A jolt of heat shimmied down Steve’s spine. He licked his lips and reached for his hand, pressing it down until there was no inch between them, looking down into his eyes intently. “I might not have realized it sooner, but I think the feelings were always there, too. One day, I didn’t even know you, and the other day you’d already taken up my whole mind.”

Tony smiled, warm and happy—and it seemed to be enough for now. He drew his lips down Steve’s body, kissing and licking every inch of flesh he came across. Eager hands turned to the fastening on Steve’s jeans, born with single-minded intent that made Steve’s heart pound faster than he thought possible.

Yeah, this was happening. And it was happening now.

“Your pants are a travesty,” Tony grumbled, fidgeting with the zipper. The look on his face was so adorably frustrated that Steve could not help but laugh. The next thing he knew, however, Tony had stripped his pants away and pushed them down Steve’s thighs.

“There,” Tony breathed admiringly, heavy eyes taking in the full sight of him.

The tension in Steve’s groin tightened without warning, as Tony turned his hands to his own trousers the next moment.

Steve sat up, grasping Tony’s wrists and stopping him. Tony sent him a questioning look that Steve answered with a shy smile, his inquisitive fingers itching to take to the undressing-part himself. “Let me.”

Slowly, Steve pushed the fabric of his briefs aside. Steve took a low breath as Tony’s cock sprang into his hand a moment later. He brushed along him for a moment, his touch delicate, exploratory. The texture was so smooth, the hair in his groin somewhat trimmed.

“You okay?” Tony asked with a worried frown. His brow pressed to his, his eyes closed reverently. His small grasp teasing him to lengths Steve hadn’t thought possible.

“It’s…” Steve took a low breath. “Not as weird as I thought it would be.”

Tony huffed, leaning back. “You really know how to charm a guy.”

Steve scowled at him without heat. “How about you let me do this on my own pace, yeah? Three days ago, I was pretty sure I was exclusively into girls, and now I’m debating whether or not to blow you before doing the whole…prep thing… so kindly stop the teasing? I’m strategizing.”

Tony snorted, linking both arms behind his head, stretching beneath Steve. “I could supply some pros to the whole blowjob-part.”

Steve huffed, and Tony shrugged. “Just saying.” He cleared his throat. “You could do both, that’s… you know, making the prep a bit easier.”

Steve nodded, then nodded some more. He could do this. There was something about this alone that moved him more than anything he had experienced before. Sitting in a dark tent, caressing each other intimately. Bearing that sort of honesty for something, and _someone_ , was strangely humbling.

And when his thumb began caressing the head of Tony’s cock with tantalizingly gentle strokes, Tony’s body quivered and his eyes were blazing with need. It was wonderful.

“Okay, forget it. I won’t last through a blowie,” Tony gasped and closed his eyes. “You’re too much. Just get on with the lube.”

“I didn’t even—”

Tony shook his head. “It’s _you_. You’re too fucking much. It’s like… all my fantasies coming true, only that you aren’t wearing half your football dress.” With that, he finished kicking off his sweatpants in a hurry and then spread his knees wider. “Come on.”

Steve looked down and his mind sort of blanked out.

“Steve, _come on_. I want you.”

“I… yeah, okay,” Steve said, nodding while he was still a bit dazed. “Gonna make sure you’re ready.”

“I know you will. Just… start slow. One finger after another, you know the basics right?”

Basics. Steve didn’t know any basics. “Push in and… spread slowly?”

Tony grinned, suddenly all lewd and unashamed. “Yeah, that. Feel free to use as much lube as you can.”

A smile crossed Steve’s lips. With one last nod to himself, he opened the bottle of lube and poured some into his palm, coating his fingers with it. With his free hand, he pushed Tony’s left leg a bit further upwards, then inspected his opening. It was so _small_. He’d thought that about girl parts, too, at first, but the tiny hole there, it was—

“Now you’re making me nervous,” Tony said, and sure enough, his blush was back with a vengeance.

“Sorry,” Steve said, now definitely nervous himself. “Are you sure it’s gonna… fit?”

Tony snorted. “Thinking a bit highly about yourself, huh? Yeah, Steve, it’s gonna fit. You’re just gonna have to spread me first.”

Steve nodded slowly and took a deep breath, then he prodded Tony’s opening.

Tony almost bucked off the ground, when Steve edged his finger inside after a moment. “God, you’re gonna kill me.”

Steve’s smile faded to a bemused grin as he slid the finger all the way in. Tony was clenching around him like a vice, at first, but he could see him taking deep breaths and after a few seconds, he was loosening up. Steve dipped his head and brushed a kiss over Tony’s stomach, licking a wet path to his cock. When his lips closed in around the head, Tony cried out and arched off the floor again, hands clenching the sleeping back with such fervor that he nearly ripped them to shreds.

Now, Steve’s experience in the sex department was not exactly leaping off the charts, but he figured he must be doing all right, if Tony’s reaction was any indication.

His cock didn’t taste of much of anything. There was a salty flavor, mixed with something bitter that Steve found he didn’t mind at all. After a few licks, even that was gone, and Steve lowered his head to take Tony’s length in as much as he could.

After a few minutes, Steve’s finger slid into Tony with much less resistance, and Steve pulled off Tony’s cock to pour more lube on his fingers. He took a moment to commit the way Tony looked right then to memory. His skin was deeply flushed, his lips red from where he was biting down on it. His eyes were blown wide as he regarded Steve.

“Please…”

That was all the urging he required. Steve prowled up his body with a slow smile, and entered Tony’s hole with two fingers, pushing them in slowly and spreading them as soon as they were seated. He took his time, pouring more lube, scissoring and circling, adding a third finger eventually.

“You’re overdoing it,” Tony gasped eventually. His erection was still firmly in place, his right hand grasping the base as if he was this close to coming already.

“Want you to enjoy this,” Steve said.

Tony snorted. “I am, trust me, I am. I’m… this is already better than everything I’ve ever done before.”

Steve would lie if he said he wasn’t relieved to hear those words. He had sort of expected to be astronomically bad at this, but… doing this with Tony came easy, just like their friendship had always been.

He leaned back down to catch Tony’s mouth into another toe-curling kiss.

A wrangled gasp tore at Steve’s throat when he felt Tony’s hand encircling his wrist, pulling his fingers free. His other hand fumbled with his own pants once more and produced a row of condoms, ripping one of them open. He leaned up a bit to get a better look, then slid the condom on Steve’s cock with somewhat trembling fingers.

“Okay?” Tony asked, and Steve nodded. He laced his fingers through Tony’s and caressed his mouth in a loving kiss, then grabbed himself and slowly began to slide inside.

And—oh God—it was too much. Already too much. A gasp scratched at his throat as Tony clenched around him. Tony was so tight. Tighter and tighter. He had barely breached him, and he was already close. His body clenched and Steve forced himself to a standstill to gather his bearings.

Tony’s head was thrown back against the pillow, his eyes closed piously.

“Okay?” Steve asked, his eyes wide as he stared down at Tony.

Slowly, Tony opened his eyes, and his trademark-smirk appeared on his face. “Hate to break it to you, but you’re not in,” he said without malice. “I’m fine, go on.”

“Oh, okay,” Steve said, drawing in a breath before pushing further, until he was buried to the hilt. He stayed like that for a long moment, getting his bearings.

“Steve…” His name rolled off Tony’s lips like a prayer. “Move. Please.”

With a deep breath, Steve withdrew from Tony’s heat and sank inside again. And watching his face contort in pleasure was something Steve vowed to never take for granted. This, Tony letting him inside like this, was everything.

“God,” Steve gasped. “That is so much better than I thought.”

Tony nodded dazedly. “Yeah, I… yeah.”

Steve settled his head at Tony’s shoulder, both hands tightening around his. Tony settled his legs over Steve’s hip, squeezing him intimately with every thrust. His inner walls clenched Steve with every withdrawal, his hips rising to recapture.

The rhythm Steve set was tender—he couldn’t help it. After the hints Tony had dropped about his first and only time, he couldn’t do rough. Not the first time they did this.

Now, he would treasure Tony. Now, he wanted this to feel like love.

Tony’s hands grasped his as though it was Steve holding him to the world and letting go would make all fall away.

When Steve’s thrusts grew deeper, Tony’s eyes all but rolled inside his head. He threw his head back, and clutched Steve with newfound desperation at his shoulders.

“Shit, I’m gonna—” Tony broke off with a moan, his fingertips all but digging into Steve’s skin. And Steve felt Tony’s cock jerk against his abdomen, felt the wetness between them, and only had a moment to think that he hadn’t even touched Tony— _and he probably should’ve, right?_ —when Tony clenched down on him like a vice and came.

Steve gasped and pushed forward in a frenzy of desperate thrusts. It was a sensory explosion and Steve felt Tony groaning beneath him, probably overstimulated, when soon after—he came, too. It was like a long-winded bang that banished everything but the man he clutched to himself. It was like blinding white spots of perpetual brilliance. And it wracked every nerve in his body; touched every part of him there was to touch.

It was too much compact in one—too much, and not enough. Steve thought it would never end and, at the same time, that it would end too quickly.

When Steve’s thrusts eventually dragged to a halt, Tony just looked up at him, gaze wide and imploring.

“Good?” Steve’s voice was small and timid.

Tony only pressed a finger to his lips and smiled softly. He tugged Steve mouth down to his and kissed him until they both fell asleep.


	6. Day 5: Nashville - Almost 36.9664° N, 87.6709° W

**| T minus 00:07:45:20 |**

 

When Tony woke up, Steve’s head dipped to whisper a kiss at the pulse of his throat. “Morning.”

Tony only groaned, curling in on himself.

“Wake up, today’s the big day.”

At that, Tony at least opened his eyes, and swiftly looked out of the tiny plastic window at the side of the tent. Clear skies. Perfect.

He lay back down and glanced up at Steve with a lazy smile. “’s not gonna be easy to top yesterday.”

“Happy?” Steve asked softly. He looked gloriously bedded, his blond hair a complete mess, his lips distinctively kiss-swollen.

“Happy’s not the right word,” Tony decided a minute later. “More like… ecstatic.”

Watching Steve’s eyes light up was the best thing ever. So he tugged him down for a kiss that rapidly lost control.

“Mmm,” Steve hummed against him, trying to pull away only to be yanked back down. Several failed attempts passed before Tony could find it within himself to deprive his lips of Steve’s.

“As much as I’d love to stay in here all day, your stomach is growling,” Steve said with an amused smile. “Think we better head over before the gang leaves nothing for us to raid.”

Tony broke away with a pout. “You wanna get breakfast? That means getting ready. And… getting dressed.”

Steve snorted. “And here you were yelling at everyone about wasting time and gas just two a days ago.”

“Rhodey’ll come in if he wants something. Want more kisses.”

“You’re starting to sound like ‘Drunk Tony’.” Steve grinned wickedly and kissed him all the same. Tony utilized that advantage and wrapped his thighs around Steve, pulling himself on top, and earning a long-winded groan as he began to rub against Steve.

“God,” Steve gasped, letting his head drop on the sleeping bag. “You have any idea what it takes to resist you?”

Tony’s eyes twinkled with amusement, but pressed down more firmly all the same. There was absolutely nothing more perfect than this. “You wanna be able to resist me?”

“No,” Steve blurted, his hands settling on Tony’s hips without much thought. “Just keep doing that.”

Tony chuckled. “Doing what?”

“Whatever it is you’re happening to be doing down there. I love everything you do.” His lips danced down his throat. “You feel so good. Don’t know how I managed without this.”

“This?”

“Sex,” Steve pointed out, then chuckled at Tony’s incredulous look. “ _Sex with you_ , of course. Don’t even remember how I was ever happy without you period.”

An indeterminable amount of time later, and they had most definitely missed breakfast. Lying side-by-side; staring blandly at the ceiling of the tent. Waiting for energy to return without any real want of it.

“Your stomach’s still growling.”

Tony expelled a low chuckle, tried to sit up, and fell flat on his back the next second. “Nope. Bring me something? If the others ask, just tell them I couldn’t get my legs to work.”

Steve rumbled a chuckle. “Rhodes will probably punch me for that.”

“Over my tired, worn out body.”

Steve grinned smugly. “Wore you out, huh?”

“Let’s just say that I’m sore in all the right places.”

Steve chuckled again and turned on his side to look at him. “Thank you,” he murmured softly.

Tony raised a brow. “For what?”

“For trusting me enough to try again.”

Tony smiled and moved just enough to nuzzle Steve’s cheek delicately. “That was a no-brainer. You’re the nicest guy on earth. I knew you wouldn’t be like Ty.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Ty?” he asked, and—oh shit. “Your first was _Tiberius Stone_?!”

“Uhm… yeah?”

Steve flopped down in his back, whining. “But… he’s such an _ass_.”

Tony snorted, grasping Steve’s hand after a few failed tries. “Yeah, I know that now, too. You know… after what he did to _my_ ass.”

“Ugh!” Steve just exclaimed, looking adorably distraught.

“And yours?” Tony asked, curious now. “Peggy?”

Steve made a grimace, obviously still busy with killing Tiberius in his mind. Tony would lie if he said he didn’t find it completely awesome.

“No. Sharon,” he eventually admitted. “Peggy moved back to England before we reached that point.”

Tony hummed, making Steve chuckle. “Jealous?”

“No,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. Some part of him wished that he could re-lose his virginity to Steve. That Steve could be his first everything. That they could be each other’s, how it was meant to be. But then again, it didn’t really matter. Everything else had just brought them here, to this moment, so it was okay. “You’re with me now, right?”

Steve smiled widely. “Yeah.” After a moment, however, the edge of humor dissipated and a frowned took hold of Steve’s face. “So, uh,” he said lowly, voice degrees graver than before, and Tony instantly felt a shadow subduing his happiness.

“When we get home,” Steve started with a low voice. “What happens then?”

Tony knew exactly what he was asking, and only managed to voice a soft, “Huh?”

“You and me,” Steve said. “What’s it gonna be?”

Similarly, Tony’s body tightened and his breathing stopped altogether. He swallowed and looked away. Did Steve seriously ask him this? “You know, it’s not exactly like I have an off-switch when it comes to my feelings.”

Steve’s frown deepened. “I didn’t—what’s that supposed to mean?”

Tony pursed his lips as if just realizing that Steve was still looking at him, waiting for an answer. Tony smiled a reassuring smile and leaned forward, closing the space that had forced itself between them. Like he had just a few minutes before, he took Steve’s face in his hands and caressed his cheeks with loving strokes. “We’re here now,” he said slowly. “Can’t we just enjoy that? I can’t… I can’t really think about it now. Not today.”

There was a long beat as Steve took him in, heavy emotion storming his eyes. “Of course,” he said quietly, but Tony knew he didn’t like it.

God, Tony was afraid. So afraid to lose this, while knowing exactly that they didn’t have really have another option. Steve would be _literally_ at the other side of the country. With over 3000 miles between them. It might work out for a while, and Tony saw himself waiting and hoping, but eventually, he knew… Steve would break up with him. Steve would find someone else.

Tony swallowed, forcing back all the tears that threatened to spill over his cheeks. “I’m right here,” he vowed hoarsely. “Right now.” With that, he pressed a broken smile against Steve’s shoulder so he wouldn’t break out into sobs.

“Okay,” Steve said, and his hands curled around his arms.

Tony closed his eyes and said nothing. _Okay_.

The kiss that followed was different. At the simplest touch, Tony knew this kiss was different. Not a fleeting taste; Steve’s tongue tasted and teased, he explored every inch of Tony’s mouth, hands taking chart up his arms until he was caressing the softness of his throat and, eager fingers burrowing into his hair.

Tony was sure he had found the piece that matched his puzzle.

And soon, it would be gone.

 

**| T minus 00:02:29:20 |**

 

They quickly freshened up, ignoring the looks the others gave them when they walked into the RV that morning.

As they drove towards Hopkinsville, the midday-bustle on the street had already begun. Soon enough, Steve realized quickly that they were only a small part of people, all driving towards Hopkinsville and all bound in a single emotion of expectation and excitement. Steve could almost smell the eclipse fervor in the air. Some people even wished them a ‘Happy Eclipse’ as they drove past them, a few even waving banners. People were clutching cameras all set to glue the moment to memory.

Undoubtedly, all roads led to Hopkinsville that day. Steve had known the eclipse hype had become really big in those last weeks. The eclipse-sunglasses had been sold-out more times than he could count, there had been numerous specials on TV, interviews, discussions, t-shirts, books—the eclipse had been everywhere.

But he knew it was different for Tony. He’d been waiting for this all his life. They’d been friends for all but three weeks when Tony had told him about Jarvis. How he’d been more a father to him than Howard would ever be. How much his passing still hurt Tony. How much he still missed the man.

Back then, Steve hadn’t realized how significant it had been that Tony had told him all that. Only later, when he had asked Rhodey if he could show him a photo of Jarvis, he’d realized that Tony had _never_ told anyone about him before.

While the morning they’d shared together had been perfect, blissful, happy, it seemed that with each passing mile, Tony’s good mood disappeared a little bit more.

He sat next to Steve on the sofa, staring out to onto the landscape that flew past the big windows. Steve didn’t know what had happened, their night had been wonderful. And he knew that Tony thought so, too.

Rhodes was casting Steve angry glances as he tried to discuss last details with Tony. Tony only nodded to everything his friend said, and didn’t seem much interested in the upcoming event.

Soon after Clarksville, however, the traffic became insane. There were hundreds of people everywhere, watching the sky, and others recording the event with their telescopes and cameras.

“Are we on the path yet?” Natasha asked, while glancing down on the streets. They had still about thirty miles to go, and the traffic didn’t seem to let up any time soon.

“Yes,” Rhodey confirmed, but Steve knew he was agitated. “We could’ve watched it in Nashville, too, it’s just about two seconds shorter.”

“Two point five,” Tony mumbled, without taking his eyes from the road.

“So we could as well stop here?” Sam asked.

Just as Tony wanted to open his mouth, Steve stood up. “No,” he said. “We’ll get to Hopkinsville.”

Tony huffed, but didn’t object. Instead, there was a small smile tugging on his lips.

“How much longer do we have?” Carol asked.

Rhodes checked his watch. “About two point five hours ‘til total eclipse, but the moon will start darkening the sun in about one.”

Steve sighed. “Can we take a different route?”

Rhodes shrugged. “I think the streets are blocked everywhere right now.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Tony mumbled. “I’m used to not getting what I want.”

Steve frowned. “Could you be any more cryptically? What’s wrong all of a sudden?”

“Nothing,” Tony said, and even smiled at him for a moment. But it rang false.

“Trouble in paradise?” Bucky asked with a raised brow. “Already?”

“No,” Tony snapped then brushed a hand over his face. “I just… I need some air. Might as well walk with how fast we’re moving.”

And with that, Tony moved to the door and stepped outside.

There was silence settling in the room, and Steve put his forehead on the table in front of him, sighing deeply. “I should follow, right?” he asked quietly.

There was at least one set of hand patting his head at that.

“Of course,” Carol agreed and stroked his hair. “He’s probably just nervous.”

Yeah. Sure.

Still, eventually Steve stood up and walked outside. At first, he didn’t even see Tony. There were many people on the road, but Tony was nowhere to be seen.

“Up here,” a voice said and Steve looked around with a confused expression, before he spotted Tony sitting in top of the RV’s roof. He was leaning back, staring up in the sky.

Steve took a deep breath, and leaned his head back into the RV. “We’re on the roof, honk before you drive on,” he called, then took hold of the small ladder and climbed upwards.

Tony cast him a small smile and even moved a little to give Steve space. “I’m fine,” he said, as Steve settled in. “Sorry for being weird. Just… there’s a lot on my mind.”

Steve had a feeling he knew what Tony was thinking about it. It hurt to even think those words, and voicing them would be even worse, but he didn’t really have a choice.

“Look,” he began cautiously and frowned up into the air. Maybe he was imagining things, but it seemed as if the color was already draining from the world. “If you don’t want to be with me, you could’ve just said so. If you just wanted no strings attached… that’s…” He frowned, suddenly realizing how deeply not okay he was with all of this. “You know what, no. You really should’ve told me so before, because I kinda got the impression you actually liked me and not just wanted me for a one-night-stand, so I wouldn’t say it’s _fine_ , because it’s really _not_. But,” he took a deep breath, counting to three, calming himself. “ _But_ I don’t want this to ruin your big moment. I want you to be happy when the eclipse starts, and if that means I have to bite the bullet, I will do it.”

Tony blinked. He’d turned around and now all but started at Steve. “I—What?”

They looked at each other for a minute longer, until Steve’s shoulders sagged again with the weight of solemnity. “Come on, Tony, you know what I mean. This morning, everything was so wonderful, and now you’re giving me the cold shoulder. I might not have a lot of experience with sex, but I know when I’m being turned down.” He paused to lick his lips as his eyes darkened in reminder. “I just wished you would’ve told me so…”

Tony was silent for a long moment—pensive, then his eyes drifted back to Steve’s. “You think I’m turning you down?” He shook his head, confused. “Don’t know if you noticed, but high school’s over, Steve. This is the end of a part of our lives, and the start of another. Who would… try to start something new when it’s already the end of it?”

Steve frowned. Well, that hurt. He’d thought… he’d thought they could start into this new life together. “So you don’t want to have your high school sweetheart around, is that it?”

Tony huffed and almost looked angered. “I’m not gonna _have_ you around, that’s what this is! Are you really telling me you wanna try long-distance with a 3000 miles between us? These things never work out for anyone. And I don’t want to force you into trying.”

_3000 miles_ , Steve repeated in his mind.

Another beat moved between them and the electricity in the air was more than palpable. And suddenly, Steve’s hands itched with the urge to touch him, because—oh _God_.

“You think—” Steve said, shaking his head. And then, everything came tumbling down as he realized what was happening. “Oh God, _fuck_ , you think I’m going to California.”

Tony blinked. Then blinked some more. “Well—yeah? Of course you’re going to California.”

A small smile rose to Steve’s lips. If this was what had gotten into Tony—this was something he could deal with. This was something they could work through. “Tony, I… I’m not going to California.”

“You’re not…” Tony echoed, but couldn’t go on.

Steve shook his head and took Tony’s hands in his. “I—God, I didn’t even think about telling you, because didn’t realize you wouldn’t know.”

“Wouldn’t know _what_?”

Steve grinned in spite of himself. Couldn’t help it, really. “I… I turned down the scholarship, about two months ago. I’m going to MassArts.”

Tony completely froze, and Steve watched, admittedly a bit delighted, as he put two and two together. “MassArts,” he echoed, dazed. “As in… Massachusetts College of Art and Design?”

“Yeah. You know, that… big college campus that spreads all over the city? I think there’s another pretty famous college around, you know, something with technolo— _uff_.”

He didn’t finish, because the next thing he knew, Tony had all but tackled him to the roof’s surface. His legs were slotted around his waist, his arms firmly linked behind his neck. And he was kissing him. Kissing him with relief and giddiness and a few light chuckles in-between.

“You ass,” he mumbled against Steve’s lips. “I was going through Hell! I was literally dying inside! Why didn’t you _say_ anything?!”

“You… you’re _Tony_. You know things about me,” Steve exclaimed. “It never once crossed my mind that you wouldn’t know.”

“Fuck,” Tony said wondrously. His eyes widened as he looked down at Steve with pure wonder. “But football. You love football.”

Steve shrugged, unbothered. “I love art more.”

Tony bit his lip, touching Steve’s cheek. “We… we could do this. I mean… you want it, right? This? Us?”

Steve flushed but didn’t break eye contact. “Yeah, I want it.”

“You want me,” Tony clarified, “as, you know… your boyfriend?”

Steve nodded, leaning up to nip at his lips once more. “I don’t like my life without you in it.”

“I was in it before,” Tony pointed out. “And you seemed to be having a—”

“Tony. Stop. It’s different now.”

Tony’s expression refused to change. He merely nodded and encouraged him to continue. “How so?”

A sigh coursed through Steve’s body. “When I realized I was into you, I think I was more wigged that I wasn’t wigged,” he explained. “Everything… since knowing you, I’ve changed so much in such a small amount of time. And I want more of that. You challenge me, you want me to do better, you’re all I want from here on out.”

Tony tore his eyes away and fixated on a spot staining the grass. “So… we’ll do this.”

Steve smiled. “Hell yeah.”

 

**| T minus 00:00:32:14 |**

 

They were still twenty miles from their goal, when the world began to change.

The birds were getting quiet and in the distance, Tony saw a few animals running towards the forest. The temperature was dropping, and the process of the surroundings darkening and changes taking place had been slow but were now almost imperceptible.

“I’m sorry we won’t make it to your coordinates,” Steve said, grabbing Tony’s hands.

Tony smiled, and he felt so carefree he couldn’t find it in him to despair about this.

_May this moment be everything you want it to be. And may you be spending it with people you love._

Both were true. It already was everything he’d ever hoped it would be. Steve was at his side, and Tony realized that there was nothing that could go wrong.

“Doesn’t matter,” he said.

Steve squinted at him, obviously not believing him.

“It doesn’t,” Tony repeated, and took hold of Steve’s face, kissing him. “It’s already perfect.” Then he turned around, leaning a bit over the RV. “Come up here!” he called. “It’s starting!”

Soon enough, all seven of them were lying on the RV’s roof side by side, staring with their goggles at the sky. He and Rhodey had set up their equipment in record time, having practiced this step of the way for a Million times. The telescope was ready, as was the camera. They would have the perfect pictures—the perfect videos—but now, it was time just to bask.

 

**| T minus 00:00:00:01 |**

 

As the sun’s rays shone down on them, all hundred thousand eyes in the area searched for a glimpse of the moon. And there it was—the huge fiery orange disc in the sky with its upper right corner sliced off by a tiny crescent.

When the eclipse began, Tony thought about a Million things at once. About him at ten, and him at sixteen—and the chasm of grief between those two points. He’d lost himself when Jarvis died, and for a long time, there hadn’t been a single particle left of who he was. For a long time, he’d let all that chances fall through his fingers.

It still hurt to think about Jarvis. He would probably always mourn him. But Tony thought—that was probably what it meant to love someone. What it meant to grieve someone. It was a little bit like the black hole in the sky.

A little bit like infinity.

Overall, people were now seated on the ground, on the streets, and the fields around them. Thousands of cameras were headed straight towards the sky all set to capture history.

As the sun wandered across the sky, it gradually went behind a thin veil of clouds, letting them see the crescent with almost naked eyes. The sun was almost half eclipsed by now. It was like looking at the moon only a few times bigger and many times brighter.

“This is crazy cool,” Barnes said, his voice awed. He was lying on Steve’s other side, and leaned up a bit to look at Tony. “Thanks for bringing us.”

Well, that was unexpected. Tony could see one corner of Steve’s mouth twitching, and shoved him lightly. “You’re welcome,” he said eventually.

“Will it get completely dark?” Sam asked.

“Almost,” Rhodey confirmed. “Around 90%. You can see the shadow moving across the ground once we’ve almost reached totality.”

“Crazy cool,” Barnes repeated, lying his head back down on the RV’s roof.

The late evening sunlight had assumed a strange, almost unreal bluish white tint. The air had gone a little chillier, and all the colors faded; it became darker and darker as at the beginning of a violent storm.

The excitement Tony felt rise within him almost uncontainable, now. He could fear his own heart beating against his chest. The sun was now almost eighty percent eclipsed. It was then that the dark cumulus clouds appeared from nowhere and veiled the sun.

“Oh, shit,” Sam said. “That’s not happening, is it?”

“Don’t worry,” Rhodey called over, but his voice was shaking. “They’ll disappear in a moment.”

All available meteorological skills in Tony came together to predict the time the wind would take to blow away the clouds. A vain consolation—the predicted said cloudiness for Hopkinsville for 21st August was 18%. The clouds would clear off. They had to.

What if this was the rest of the 82%?

Million questions. And a Million answers.

“Breathe,” Steve said next to him, grasping his hand.

Together, they watched with bated breath as the sun kept playing hide and seek with the clouds. And then: the clouds suddenly cleared off as the sun—now merely a thin faint line of light, a dying crescent—shone against the gray skies.

The sun had narrowed down to an invisible line and almost abruptly, it went completely dark. There was no color. The earth seemed dead.

Then suddenly, as if something bloomed out of the crescent, it happened.

Totality. There it was. The black sun was surrounded by a celestial bluish orange halo—the solar corona.

_I hope you see that, J_ , Tony thought and felt his eyes water.

Steve’s hand was firm around his, his thumb massaging circles into his skin. They were all here, lying side by side, and Tony knew, this would be a moment he’d think about forever.

The black disc of the sun was outlined by a fine line of shimmering light. The sudden descending darkness was eerie. The air went completely still. The disoriented birds flying everywhere nowhere. A million eyes raised to the sky. It was as if to complement the deep uncanny silence, the crowd suddenly roared in amazement.

Tony, however, was in complete trance. Awe, surprise, ecstasy, disbelief—it was as if all possible human emotions gushed forth in his spine in a million volt moment.

This was it. He needed to be aware. Was he aware? How much time had passed already?

As suddenly as it had started, with the same swiftness the eclipse moved into the next phase—a bead of almost blinding light appearing at the periphery of the sun.

“Diamond ring!” someone shouted in the distance.

There was a dim, while not quite black sky, similar to a late twilight, with a jet-black dot in the sky, surrounding by a glowing radiance. The corona moved. Tony could see it flow in and out slightly, as if it was alive.

“Breathe, Tony,” Steve reminded him.

He tried to pull air in his lungs, for the first time aware that he hadn’t even been breathing properly for the last few seconds. Tony turned his head sideways and pulled off his glasses.

“I love you,” Tony said. _Now. Then. Forever._

In a swift movement, Steve pulled off his goggles as well, and looked at him like he was the second-coming. “I love you, too,” he said, and moved forward to press as kiss against his lips.

He pulled back just as quickly, though, and shoved Tony’s glasses back on his nose. “Now, you watch.”

“Steve,” Tony chuckled, but he only shook his head.

“Shh, watch!” Then, after a moment, he whispered, “Is it how you imagined it?”

“No,” Tony shook his head reverently and looked back up to the hole in the sky. In a moment of complete clarity, he knew that he wouldn’t remember everything. But that was alright, too.

“No, it’s much better.”

 

**| - 00:00:04:48 |**

 

Afterwards, they all climbed down the RV and stood side by side, watching the semi-eclipse bouncing light off the pavement before it vanished into the shadows.

“Wahoo!” Bucky screamed next to them, lifting Natasha into a hug.

Tony just sighed in relief and collapsed against Steve’s shoulder, his eyes fluttering shut as Steve squeezed him in reassurance.

“You good?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Tony decided and smiled. “I’m perfect.”

Next to them, Rhodes took Carol into a hug, released her, then grabbed Tony before he could object. There was, in fact, not one person on the road that did not get an eclipse-hug from Rhodes that day. It was hilarious. The people were still awestruck from what had happened and merely stood around and took turns shaking each other’s hands when they were approached.

It was an indescribable feeling; one of those to look back upon and reflect forever… somewhere between shouts of joy and grins of happiness.

As the celebration gradually died, Sam turned around and raised his hands. “So,” he said and grinned. “What’s next?”

Tony shrugged as he leaned against Steve. “We could take the Northern route. I hear Lake Michigan is nice this time of the year.”

Steve beamed like a complete loon as though Tony had said something highly significant, then reached out to pull him into a kiss.

Yeah. He was ready for whatever was next.

 

**| - 24:10:12:03 |**

 

By now, the road trip to Hopkinsville seemed like a well-loved dream. It had grown distant in the face of the ticking clock. Life since returning home was more a cycle than anything else.

It was strange going to furniture stores and picking out sofas, tables, and other essentials to fill their apartment as though they were the epitome of a long-time couple, but Tony enjoyed the hell out of it. There was something so adult about the entire experience, reserved solely for people who could make it this far. They had both moved out of their parents’ houses, and together, they had decorated their new home.

After some back and forth, Rhodey had taken up the room on the other side of the hallway, and Bucky and Natasha were living on the floor above them. Carol and Rhodey had decided to try long-distance after all, and whenever she visited for summer break, the two were sickeningly cute together.

Steve and Bucky were out helping the movers with their bed—a situation full of nonstop funny as far as Tony was concerned—while he and Rhodey tended to the more tedious aspects of moving day. Tony acknowledged that it was likely a bit cruel to have Bucky move something that he didn’t want to even consider in relation to him and Steve, but similarly, he enjoyed the hell out of it.

This past week had been full of surprises. The visit from his parents that went—considering Tony had just blurted out that Steve was his boyfriend—in large, as expected. A bunch of yelling, accusations, name calling, offers to pay for therapy that were extremely of the unwanted variety, and a retreat when Howard saw there was no point in his coming there in the first place.

Well, that plus Steve’s enthusiastic comforting later that night. A week had gone by and Tony was still tingling from that memory alone.

Howard’s visit, though, paled in comparison to Sarah’s.

They had been sitting on the sofa in the living room, hands clutched in some weird parody of a romantic comedy. Steve’s mother was a whirlwind, plain and simple. Her reaction to her son’s outing had been hilarious; and soon after, she’d hugged Tony to her chest and called him her son. It didn’t matter to her that Steve was bi, or the fact that he was currently in love with another man.

“Ready to go?” Steve asked, and a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He sat down on his bike and pointed the second helmet expectantly at Tony.

Tony grinned, sitting down behind him. It wasn’t a chariot or a horse-ride into the sunset, but he’d grown to appreciate the piece of junk Steve called a bike… even if he’d never admit it. “Ready and willing.”

Steve tossed him a wink. “Just how I like you.”

“Are you going to tell me where we’re headed?”

“Does it matter?”

Tony grew silent for a second, considering. No, it didn’t matter where they went. As long as they were together nothing seemed to matter. The last few weeks had opened doors Tony had never even considered. And though they might lead down tumultuous paths, he was confident he and Steve could emerge from any conflict better for it.

He loved Steve. Steve loved him. Nothing mattered beyond that.

“No,” Tony replied, leaning over and brushing a kiss across Steve’s cheek. “It doesn’t.”

Steve grinned at him and reached for his hand, pulling it around his torso.

“Then let’s find out when we get there.”

Tony nodded, and as Steve fired up his bike and turned on the main road, Tony gazed up into the early evening sun near the horizon. And somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind, a small part of his conscious was still expecting the sun to go crescent in a perfect second of totality.

  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this. Maybe leave a little comment if you did? <3  
> Kudos to [ssyn3](http://ssyn3.tumblr.com/) for her lovely art. Thank you very much!


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